


Bleak Souls

by Shezka_Foxe



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-02 18:17:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10224173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shezka_Foxe/pseuds/Shezka_Foxe
Summary: Bucky has fallen into a cryogenic sleep he hopes not to awaken from. The regret of his Winter Soldier days still haunting him even in his suspended state. Soon after falling into his deep slumber, he finds himself talking to an intriguing trickster by the name of Loki. He agrees to make a deal and to play a 'game' with this former prince, neither knowing the changes that await for both of them from their close interactions.





	1. Prologue

When he laid down in the cryo chamber, he hadn’t expected the cold to come so suddenly. For the first time, he would be the one making the choice. HE would be the one putting himself on ice, not THEM. THEY couldn’t control them anymore. THEY had no say over who he was. THEY wouldn’t be able to wake him up unless he said so…or this paradise was brought down to ruin. 

James Buchanan Barnes tried not to think about that last thought.

The last image he saw were those haunted, sky blue eyes gazing at him from behind the glass. Silently begging him not to do this, to come back, to not abandon him again. Not to leave on this note when they finally found peace…

Sorry punk, I can’t stay. End of the line for me.

Bucky thought as he closed his eyes to those sky blue ones. Feeling his mind descend…falling…falling into a familiar darkness. Truthfully, he didn’t expect to ever wake up again. He felt it would be better if he died or someone came in, pulled the plug, and let him slip away quietly in this cryo chamber. No one would know for the better he’d passed away and everything would be better. He deserved it, right?

He'd taken everything from one man Howard Stark’s son. The man he’d admired in his youth, aspired to be, and when he found out Steve was friends with the guy he eagerly jumped in to join the Howling Commando. 

To learn he had been the one to take his idol’s life had been devastating. Bucky remembered back when he’d been at the foot of the stage, watching Howard Stark demonstrate a flying car of the future. The amazement in his features as he laughed with everyone else at seeing this brilliant man stumble and take it in stride. Howard Stark had been a self-made man and Bucky had been the one to kill him in cold blood. 

No matter how many times the other had told him it wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t in control of his faculties, Hydra had made him do it…all the excuses and pretty lies in the world couldn’t take away what he’d done. Deep down, Bucky thought, he had taken Tony’s family away not once, but twice. First his parents and second the Avengers, even if Steve had protested everyone had made the decision on their own. 

They had to choose sides. If it were anyone else in my position, would the punk have fought so hard? No, and everyone went with Steve because he’s Captain fucking America. Even if he threw away the shield, he did it FOR ME. I broke the team. I’m responsible…

Those thoughts rolled around in his head as the forced sleep finally overtook. The cold embracing him with its cold fingers and dragging him under so he couldn’t think anymore. Making his limbs grow numb and heavy, taking away his thoughts, the pain, the guilt…the burning regret he felt in his chest every time the image of Tony so much as crossed his mind.

Sorry Stark, maybe this time I won’t wake up. I hope.

He didn’t know how long he lingered in the darkness. His mind seeming to float in his subconscious as he drifted through a haze of memories. The good times when it had just been him and Stevie in their box, brownstone apartment. Talking about how to pay the next month’s rent or wondering where their next meal would come from. Good memories, happy memories Bucky had turned too in the early days of his ‘reprogramming’ when he had been with Hydra. 

He kept floating through his gallery of pain, running away from those memories of being strapped into a chair to be wiped for new orders. Short stints of not quite happiness, contentment more like floating up from those painful days. The Red Room came to mind and a young woman with blazing red hair and piercing eyes gazing at him from the across the room before he passed by again. Not realizing where he was going or where his mind wanted to take him. 

Bucky’s being floated in this space, settling down finally to quietly contemplate everything around him. Not quite sleeping, but not quite aware of his surroundings either. He didn’t quite know how long he stayed there until he felt a jolt in his quiet space of existence. His consciousness awoke in this small space, contemplating the disruption. Another jolt shook his small universe and suddenly he found himself being hurtled towards a bright light. Images flashed by him, searing pain enveloping in his skull until he found himself unceremoniously dumped in a large chamber. 

Bucky’s eyes snapped open the moment he felt pain radiating from his shoulder. The bright light seared his eyes and he screeched, throwing his arm over his face to keeps his retinas from burning out. He felt cold marble underneath his body and wondered distractedly how he had ended up there. 

Slowly, in increments, he lifted his arm to squint in the bright light. He sat up, his breathing oddly calm despite his rushed awakening. He gaped at the large room before him, large pillars disappearing into an arched ceiling above his head. There were immense doors at the end of the hall, firmly shut and he imagined, bolted. Where the hell was he? Where was Steve, Sam, Wanda, Natasha, Barton, and T’Challa? Where in the world had he been abandoned? 

Bucky knew for sure it couldn’t be a Hydra hideout, no way they would go through all this trouble for a large building. Certainly, they wouldn’t waste it on one soldier, even if he had been valuable to the Hydra cause once upon a time. He gaped around the room, wondering why everything had a silence to it. The air felt oppressive, as if he couldn’t quite catch his breath. Still, somehow Bucky knew he didn’t need to breathe, but why wouldn’t he? He could feel the cold marble under his bare souls, the draft making the small hairs on his arms stand up…

Wait, arms?!

Bucky held his hands up and stared in disbelief. He had his arm back! The flesh one, not the cold metal one. He touched his skin, but it felt cool to the touch. Still, it was there! He was whole again! But how…how…?

“What are you doing here?” A cold voice echoed throughout the room. Booming off the walls which made Bucky tense up. Hydra? Agents sent by Tony to finally finish him off?  
Bucky spun around to see a large, golden chair sitting up several steps. A raven haired man glared down at him, standing in front of throne as he inspected Bucky with burning green eyes. Bucky balked, wondering why he hadn’t sense the man beforehand. He was dressed in green and gold armor which complimented his slender features. The former sergeant was glad to see the other man looked as startled as Bucky himself felt as if he hadn’t been expecting company. 

“I don’t know. I just woke up here,” Bucky answered honestly. The man above him sneered, coming down the step towards his unwanted visitor. Up close, Bucky could see the planes of the other’s face. High cheekbones and pale skin, and an odd coldness radiating off his skin. 

“You didn’t just ‘wake’ up here, mortal. You came here. I want to know how,” the man snarled. Bucky frowned, irritated by the man’s anger.  
“Listen pal, I. Don’t. Know. Am I dead? Are you dead?” Bucky asked. That was the first explanation that had come to mind, perhaps this was the afterlife. The man only stared at him before cracking a smirk, cackling at Bucky’s confusion. 

“No, we’re not dead. We’re both very much alive, little mortal. The room you see here is just a projection of my thoughts. You are simply standing in that projection at the moment,” the man told him. He seemed amused now, his set shoulders relaxing somewhat. 

“Please stop calling me ‘mortal’. I have a name, buddy,” Bucky snapped at him. The corner of the stranger’s mouth twitched, hiding a grin or chuckle he couldn’t tell.  
“What shall you have me call you then, young man?” The stranger asked. His tone of voice softening from accusations to a purr. 

“Bucky, you can call me Bucky. I’m sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th, formerly,” Bucky said. The man pursed his lips, considering the answer he had been given. His brows furrowed as he inspected the former sergeant, his eyes roaming up and down the other’s body. 

“I do not know what your title entails, Bucky. What does it mean on Midgard?” The man asked him. Bucky’s face flushed at the line of questioning, his own irritation starting to bubble to the surface. Midgard? The hell was this guy talking about?

“I’m not answering anymore questions. You want answers? You answer some of mine,” Bucky snapped at him. The green-eyed man pursed his lips again, considering the request. The way he said his name, ‘Bucky’, had sounded like an insult. Malice coloring each syllable as if he felt the sergeant nothing more than dirt beneath his boot. 

“Fair enough, young man. My name is Loki, God of Lies and Prince of Asgard, formerly for the latter. If you’re not fully aware, you’ve somehow managed to project yourself into my thoughts. I’m not quite sure how or why, but you have. Congratulations,” Loki stated snidely. The annoyance in his own voice made Bucky crack a small smile. 

“Smartass,” Bucky said to him. Loki narrowed his emerald eyes at his unwanted guest, peering around the large throne room. He seemed just as confused as the former sergeant, which made the younger man feel immensely better. This Loki character seemed to have a vague idea of the situation, one he was having trouble comprehending at the moment. 

“So what’s ‘Midgard’? What does that mean?” Bucky asked Loki. Loki seemed distracted, his gaze lingering on the far wall as he contemplated the situation. When he was addressed, he glanced over at the mortal. Weighing his thoughts before he decided to finally answer.  
“Midgard is the name of your realm, where you reside. Often when the name ‘Midgard’ is used most of your kind associate it with ‘Earth’. Asgard is my realm where I reside and you’re currently seeing a small piece of it in my projection,” Loki explained. Bucky nodded, starting to pick up where this was going.  
“So I’m in another realm…like in a another universe?”  
“Mm, crudely put, in a way. It’s far more complicated than that,” Loki answered. Bucky bit the inside of his cheek, letting the new information sink in as he studied the throne room.  
The throne room had to be one of the most gorgeous places he’d ever seen in his lifetime. Bucky would have loved to go exploring, but considering this was a construction of Loki’s thoughts, he felt that probably wasn’t a bright idea at the moment. Right now though, he found himself just glad to be…alive? Yes, he was alive, so to speak.  
“So you said I’m…projecting into your thoughts? How does that work?”  
“Ah, and you complain I asked you too many questions.”  
“Just answer this one for me and it’ll be your turn.”  
“Tis a game we play now?”  
“Loki, please…”  
“Fine, you impatient brat. It can work several ways, usually you must be well-versed in magic. Various spells can be used to project oneself in other universes, some have been able to utilize the talent to even look into the past. Other times it can be done by putting oneself into a deep slumber so they can leave one’s body and wander aimlessly. Or do what you have done, visit another’s mind.”  
“So how-“  
“My turn. What brought you here?” The trickster snapped, cutting him off. Bucky pouted, but he had agreed to adhere to questioning as the other had.  
“I’m not…sure, exactly. I just remember floating in a dark space and suddenly I felt a jolt,” Bucky explained. This time it was Loki’s turn to frown at the answer.  
“Explain.”  
“I can’t, not really. It’s um…I just felt like something flew past me or there was a shockwave. The first time it happened it surprised me, but the second time I wanted to follow it. Then I ended up here,” Bucky explained. Loki eyed him critically, weighing the answer he had been given. This newcomer didn’t seem to be lying to him, if anything he appeared to be truthful. Though, his description of how to the mortal came to be in his own mind didn’t clarify any explanation of how he had come to be in Loki’s mind. He should have banished the mortal the second he stepped into his mind, but now he found himself intrigued.  
“Interesting, Former Sergeant Barnes. Not many can claim to have entered the mind of Loki Laufeyson and claimed to have survived the experience.”  
“Your mind not a pretty place to be?”  
“Not particularly, no. What of you?”  
“Me either, pal. I can agree with you on that one,” Bucky laughed bitterly. Loki’s eyes sparkled at the answer, whether in agreement or mockery the brunette couldn’t tell. The mortal could offer a refreshing distraction and through him he could figure out how he had entered his mind. Seal up the patch before any unsavory characters found the loophole.  
“Where are you right now, Mr. Barnes?” Loki purred to him. Bucky quirked a brow at him, giving Loki a sly grin at the question. 

“Can’t tell you, I’m a wanted man. If I did, I’d probably end up dead,” Bucky explained. Loki’s eyes sparkled again, amusement dancing behind his irises at the answers. 

“Dead men tell no tales, as they say. Hm…well, it was an interesting chat. You should be on your way now,” Loki told him. He turned to walk back up to the throne, intending to throw Bucky out of his mind until a later date. 

“Wait,” the soft voice spoke behind him. Loki turned around, gazing down at the mortal. 

“Will I see you again?” Bucky asked him. The raw need in his voice pulled the trickster up short, making him reconsider his next action. He had no need of a mortal in his mind, mistaken or not in his intrusion. Still, how long had it been since he’d had an intriguing conversation? Someone he could chat with he wasn’t out to kill him, feared him, or resented him for past crimes? Bucky had said his name several times now and no recognition had crossed his features. 

“We can make a bargain to make that happen,” Loki answered instead. Bucky’s brow furrowed, wondering what the trickster was getting at. 

“Yeah? What kinda bargain, pal? I’m not selling you my soul, already had some folks take it once.”

“No, nothing of the kind. Tell you what, I’m enjoying this game of ours immensely. Should I come back, we can continue asking each other questions. Keep my interest and I’ll grant you to keep visiting me,” Loki told him. Bucky weighed the bargain in his mind, eyeing Loki suspiciously. 

“What are the rules? Are there any winners or losers? Or does it just hinge on how you’re feeling at any given moment?” Bucky asked. 

Clever, this one. He knows to ask the right questions, Loki thought. Unlike a certain thunder god who seemed to stumble in every trap he set. 

“Mm, well, considering you won’t tell me where you are…”

“I’m on Midgard.”

“Yes, that clearly tells me exactly where you are. No, there are no winners or losers. But there can be a prize,” Loki explained. He saw he had Bucky’s interest now and grinned internally at the thought. How long had it been since he’d played one of his games? Too long, too long…

“Should you be able to keep me entertained with your presence for ten consecutive visits, I’ll grant you a boon. You can ask anything of me and I’ll grant it to you. Or you can use it at a later date.”

“Whoa, hold on, what about me? Am I supposed to grant you a boon, too? No deal, pal. You could ask something of me I can’t give you or won’t.”

“Clever thing, aren’t you? I’ll add this limitation to the prize, then. Should I win, you don’t keep me entertained for the agreed upon ten visits, the boon I ask of you has to be granted with your consent. BUT, you have to have good reason not to provide it.”

“What if I lose and don’t grant it to you?”

“Then, young man, you will shall have an unpleasant time should you cross my path again,” Loki warned him. 

Bucky considered the rules of their game, rolling it around in his mind. It seemed fair enough, though he imagined Loki holding his cards close to his chest. The former prince had the advantage since he was the one ‘projecting’ the room Bucky was currently standing in. He had to even out the playing field if he were going to do this. After all, who knew how long he’d be kept under?

“One more rule. For each visit, we have to switch to the other person’s mind. As it stands now, you’re the one with the biggest advantage here. How do I know you just won’t let me entertain you for nine visits and then say you’re bored on the tenth?” Bucky asked. 

Oh, quite a clever one. Excellent perception, Mr. Barnes. You’re almost as good as I am.

“You’ll just have to trust me,” Loki said airily. Bucky’s frown deepened, ready to call off the entire bargain. 

“I agree to your condition, but do know you’re the one invading MY mind, not the other way around. And you’re the one who wishes to see me again. I simply find you vaguely interesting, so take your pick. Except I have the advantage or don’t, your choice,” Loki said with a shrug. 

“I did offer a limitation on the prize too, for your benefit.”

He waited patiently, watching Bucky work it out in his mind. There truly was no other way the former soldier could think to level the playing field any further. Loki did have a point, too. Bucky had been the one to invade his mind, even if it had been unintentionally. And despite his misgivings about making a deal, did he have anything else better to do with his time? Just standing here, talking to someone, felt like a huge relief to him. Here was a person he hadn’t hurt, hadn’t forced to make a choice, and who wasn’t scared of him. 

“It’s a deal, Loki,” Bucky said. He held out his hand and the trickster gave him a hungry grin, reaching out to clasp the other’s hand. The same coldness Bucky had felt off of him radiating up his arm, making him shiver a bit. 

“Excellent. The game is now afoot, Mr. Barnes.”


	2. Empty Beaches

The next ‘visit’ jolted Bucky from his suspended stupor once again. He opened his eyes to find himself standing in the old Brooklyn apartment again. He felt an ache in his chest as seeing the familiar small space, for an instant under the impression everything that had happened with Hydra had been nothing but a nightmare. The looming war had just worked itself into his mind and he would be deployed soon. He had to think of making arrangements for Stevie, make sure a friend of his came to check up on the smaller man once in a while. 

Only when he heard a soft tapping at the door did Bucky twist his head to gaze at the entrance to the achingly familiar surroundings. How many times had he wished to go home in those early days? 

Rising up from the couch, Bucky padded over to open the door. Loki stood there, this time dressed in less conspicuous clothing than the first time they had met. Bucky stepped to the side to let the trickster through as the other man brushed past him into the small room. Loki studied the small apartment, wrinkling his nose as his host closed the door to come sit down on the couch. 

“Why this projection? You could think of more grand surroundings, I’m sure,” Loki chided him. He had on black slacks, a wool coat, and what looked to be a silk button up shirt and a scarf draped across his neck. Given different circumstances, Bucky would have mistaken him for a businessman on the street. He snorted at the posh individual, coming to occupy the other side of the couch. The space felt smaller with such a slender man like Loki in boxed in apartment, but it also didn’t feel as if he were about to be lost if he took more than a few steps in either direction. 

“This is where I live. Used to live, anyway. I feel comfortable here,” Bucky explained. Loki only gave him a critical eye, clearly not believing his story. 

“You shouldn’t do that, project where you live.”

“Why?”

“Because someone like me could find out where you are based upon that projection. You think you’re safe, but you’re not. I could come snatch you up if I had half a mind too,” Loki said in a low purr. The threat made Bucky’s spine tingle as he imagined this trickster swooping down and snatching him from Wakanda. 

“Pal, even if you did, you wouldn’t have much of a use for me,” Bucky heard himself saying. Loki’s eyes wrinkled at the offered excuse, a predatory grin crossing his features. 

“Now, why would you say that?”

“Just trust me when I say I’m the last guy you’ll be able to use to be defeating your enemies anytime soon,” Bucky scoffed. He didn’t know if Loki could read his thoughts, look beneath the surface to find the Winter Soldier lurking there. 

“Don’t count yourself short yet. You never know what uses the Liesmith could have for a one-armed man? Many, I presume,” Loki purred to him. Bucky gave him a startled look, wondering how in the world Loki had known that particular fact about him. Well, that didn’t sound suggestive at all. 

“…you either, pal. You don’t know what uses I could have for a God of Lies,” Bucky shot back. The weak retort only made the trickster smirk back at him, amused at the comeback.

“Enlighten me, Bucky, of what uses you would have of the God of Lies. If it pleases me, I may just grant it to you. Too few people have underestimated me and paid the consequences for such discrepancies. I would find it amusing if you were one such individual, though it would cut our time severely short.” 

“I could learn to lie to myself and other people a lot better than I have lately. I’m sure you could teach me that,” Bucky stated soberly. He hadn’t meant the admission to come out so soon for their second visit, but it had. Loki looked bored at the answer, removing an imaginary piece of lint from his sleeve.

“Lying to oneself is not hard, Bucky. It’s quite easy and one I’ll give to you for free.”

“Alright, what’s the secret?”

“Keep saying the same lie over and over until it becomes truth.”

“That’s it? No magic?”

“There’s a certain skill to lying, even a magic to it. People in Midgard do it every day, lying to themselves. The most devastating ones are the small lies, tidbits of poison your people feed themselves day by day. Lies that never become truth but in their own mind in satisfies the gnawing predicament of ‘existence’. It’s why your people have such a difficult time governing, themselves. All the small, little lies just don’t satisfy the craving they have to live,” Loki told him. 

“So freewill is a lie and everyone should give up?”

“Freewill is the greatest lie of all. Giving in to a higher power is what people desire. Ever heard the term of ‘being something greater’? The individual ceases to exist, is nothing compared to the hundreds of thousands of others surrounding them. One voice can speak out, sure, but how often does it make a difference unless the majority lends its own voice in the process? It’s like shouting into the wind,” Loki cackled. 

Bucky furrowed his brow at the explanation, wondering if the trickster considered himself to be on some moral high ground or just crazy. Still, part of it made sense. Little lies…Bucky knew precisely what the trickster meant with those two little words. He’d been telling himself ‘little lies’ ever since he’d started to gain fragments of his memories back. In his confusion, trying to work out who Captain America had been to him and connecting him to the slim boy he’d been friends with in the 1940s. 

“You seem distressed by my words.”

“No, no, I agree with you. Just…taking it all in,” Bucky said quietly. Loki gazed at him with an air of amusement, but Bucky realized something. For the first time, his thoughts were clear. He could think about himself and not feel the winter soldier pressing his cold, metallic fingers into his brain. The programming hadn’t activated since he’d woken up in this odd state of existence. He felt at peace and in control for once, not having to worry about the next time he would snap. Not to mention he had two regular arms now, even if one happened to be a manifestation of his imagination.

“How are you projecting yourself?” Loki asked him coolly. Bucky glanced up at the trickster lounging on the other side of the couch, slender fingers twirling the edges of his scarf. 

“Isn’t it my turn to ask a question?”

“I believe that counts, does it not?”

“Loki…”

“Fine, fine, ask your question. But do know I will be asking my own as well,” Loki told him. Bucky rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he stared up at the ceiling. He always felt so cold now, he figured it had be the cryogenic sleep he had submitted himself too. Still strange to think about sitting on the couch here with Loki and chatting about projecting one’s mind into another person’s. Or maybe Loki was just a figment of his imagination too? Some stranger Bucky remembered off the street to keep him company? Well, either way he liked the trickster. He kept him company, at the least.

“What kind of magic do you do?” Bucky asked. The question had been bothering him ever since he’d first met the trickster. Loki tilted his head, his eyes roving up and down the younger man’s body. Weighing the question before he conceded to answer. 

“I cast illusions, transmogrification, teleportation, and a plethora of other spells. Many of which can be as harmless as turning a cup of wine into a nest of snakes to ensuring your feet never stop feeling as if they’re pressing on hot coals.”

“You think wine turning into snakes is harmless?”

“Yes.”

“…okay,” Bucky muttered. He could see Loki looking bored with the line of questioning, but the trickster hadn’t said how long he HAD to be entertained. Bucky considered pointing that out to the trickster, but he hardly doubted it would work in his favor. 

“Barnes, why don’t you tell me more of your story?” Loki asked after a few minutes of contemplative silence. Bucky had found his thoughts starting to wander, ironic since technically they were residing in his mindscape at the moment, but at the trickster’s words he glanced over at him. 

“My story?” Bucky asked blankly. Loki gazed at him coolly, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the young man’s question. Here he was lending his assistance to put the game in his favor and he couldn’t grasp it. 

“Yes, we don’t have to stay here and talk the entire time. I dare say, that would be quite boring. You’re quite new to all of this, aren’t you?” Loki asked him. Bucky nodded dumbly, sitting up straighter so he could pay closer attention to the trickster. 

“Wouldn’t that give away my position though? Let you know where I am?” Bucky asked with a small grin. Loki’s eyelids fluttered as he gave in to his base desire to roll his irises, getting a chuckle from the brunette. 

“At this rate, I hardly care. You already know I reside in Asgard and I’m hardly in a position to come kidnap you.”

“Why do you say that?”

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s always complicated,” Bucky admonished him. 

“You don’t seem to realize we’re inside your mind. Meaning, I’ll see what you see. You simple need to construct it. When you do, you can literally walk through your memories. Relive them over and over again and I can watch, or we can stroll down a familiar road in Midgard as we chat. It would certainly be more interesting than sitting here staring at each other,” Loki told him. 

“Alright, just gimme a minute…” Bucky murmured. Loki chuffed in annoyance, but he didn’t admonish the young man again. 

He let his thoughts focus as he tried to find a coherent memory he could call upon. He thought of Steve again, when he had been small. Bucky gripped his chest as he felt a strange thumping, almost painful as tried to focus. He closed his eyes and focused on Steve and building up a world around the smaller man. Somewhere he felt safe and comfortable, a place he could walk around in his sleep…

All at once the world around him fell from beneath him and cast him into darkness. Bucky felt sick to his stomach until a breeze ruffled through his hair. He opened his eyes and found the waves of the ocean rolling up to his feet. The salt spray tickling his nose and getting into his hair. Without meaning too, Bucky felt tears going down his face. How long had it been since he’d seen the ocean…?

“Bucky? What’s wrong?” A familiar voice said.

Bucky spun as he searched the empty beach for the source of the voice. His chest feeling as if someone had stabbed him through the heart as he tried to pinpoint it. When he looked down in the sand he recognized his old friend, gazing out over the water. The sharp bones of his shoulders barely holding up the swimsuit he was wearing as he gazed out over the water. He looked up and those sky blue eyes weren’t nearly bright as alive, but it was….it was…

“Hey Buck, you look surprised to see me. What took you so long?” Steve asked him with a smile. When he’d been smaller and before the reality of the war had started to loom over their heads. Bucky let out a gurgled cry, falling to his knees as he reached for Steve. 

“Bucky?”

“Steve, you’re…you’re back. I can’t…you’re back. I’m back!” Bucky said. He reached out and grabbed the smaller man, pulling him into his arms as he cried. His chest hurting as sobs wracked his body, clinging to this corner of his soul. Not wishing to let go, ignoring how the sand pricked his knees. 

“Bucky,” a quiet voice said. Bucky pulled away and looked up at Loki who gazed down at him and the smaller figure. The trickster’s expression had become strangely blank as he studied the two figures in front of him. 

“Who is that you’re holding?” Loki asked as he knelt down. Bucky squeezed Steve who remained strangely quiet, petting the smaller man’s hairs. Feeling the silky locks brush through his fingers and relishing every moment of it. 

“My friend Stevie, I grew up with him. Steve, this is Loki…Steve?” Bucky asked. He shook his friend slightly, but the body was unresponsive. He started to panic again until Loki placed a hand on his arm, keeping him from shaking anymore.

“He’s not real, Bucky,” Loki told him quietly. Bucky looked at the trickster, feeling a pang.   
“What do you mean he’s not real? He’s right here! I can feel him! He’s-“

“Your mind has constructed a version of Steve. Or you have, were you thinking of him when you thought of this place?” Loki asked him. Bucky nodded, gazing down at Steve whose eyes had become oddly glassy. He then realized the boy he held in his arms wasn’t breathing or blinking, making no indication he was even alive.

“Yeah. You said to focus on a place and Steve just came to mind. He’s my best friend. We grew up together and I…I…” Bucky stopped. Loki still had the strangest look on his face as he gazed at the smaller man. He carded his fingers through the small figured, being gentle for Bucky’s benefit.

“You shouldn’t do that, manifest the ones you love. It may seem like a relief at first, but it’s nothing more than torture. Because no matter how hard you try, you can’t replicate exactly how they act and think. Such an action is devastating to the mind over time, causes one to go insane,” Loki informed him somberly. 

Bucky still clung to the small body, his entire being shaking as he held onto to Steve. Loki’s expression had softened as he looked at the shaking mortal, reminded eerily of him and Thor. He could relate to such loss, even though he would never admit it. His own mother’s death still fresh in his mind and the guilt he carried from sending such a blasted abomination in her direction. 

“He’s…I used to have to follow him around everywhere. Stevie got into trouble all the time, starting fights with guys three or four times bigger than him. Everyone assumed I’d drag him into those scuffles, but he’s the one who started them. I just finished the fights for him…” Bucky stated. His arms shaking as he held onto Steve, even the fragment of a memory offering him comfort. 

Loki gazed at the shaking young man, his eyes flickering to small body. Take away the uniform and the shield, the muscles, and he could easily see Captain America. What had his name been? Steve Bucky had said….

Steve Rogers? The Steve Rogers? Captain America Steve Rogers who had fought him along with the other Avengers? Could this young man be…?

Oh, how DELICIOUS.

“Let him go. Think of somewhere else to be,” Loki told him quietly. “Unless you wish to drive yourself mad,” Loki stated. 

He waited, giving the human time to sob out his pain. They stood on the empty beach for some time, the distant waves crashing against the shore. Empty. The only way Loki could describe Bucky’s mindscape is it lacked life. His entire world felt freezing to the touch, even for the trickster. The soul of the mortal trembling as if waiting for a final blow or wishing to pass on. Loki could not figure out how the young man could so easily linger in this world, but soon enough he expected him to perish. Either from lack of nourishment or someone came across the body…the only way to describe the coldness.

Still, how could he explain the way the presence of a clearly smaller and fragile Steve Rogers? 

“See you later, Stevie. I…I’ll see you later,” Bucky whispered. He kissed the top of Steve’s head, crying as he stood up. He banished the image of his old friend and just like that, Steve became nothing more but a whisper on his lips. His heart still wrenching in his chest as he stood up on shaky legs to gaze at Loki. 

“Perhaps it would be best if we went somewhere else to talk,” Loki murmured quietly. 

“What about our game?” Bucky asked weakly. The trickster gave him a level-headed look, considering their options before he slowly shook his head. 

“You have done enough for this second visit. I think I shall take my leave now,” Loki told him. He meant to leave, but he stopped when he felt a hand on his arm. 

“Please, Loki, stay here. Just for a little while,” Bucky begged him. He didn’t care if Loki happened to be a figment of his chaotic imagination. Just a manifestation of what he needed at the moment, a person to talk too, touch, and pretend just another soul existed in this soulless landscape with him. 

“Sit and watch the waves with me? We don’t have to talk. Or I can talk and you can-“

“Bucky.”

“Yes?”

“I will linger here a while longer.”


	3. Nosediving Boats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki shows he's a crazy motherfucker.

The next time they met, Loki welcomed Bucky into his own abode. Mentally speaking, of course, since the places they lingered were constructed by willpower alone. When next Bucky came for another visit, Loki let him enter his ‘library’ in Asgard. He’d seen the look of interest in the young man’s eyes when he’d first stepped into the throne room.   
Loki now knew the opportunity presented to him and how to utilize it properly. Perhaps the Norns had decided to grant him a boon? Either way, Loki took this prize from fate in stride to endear himself to this young man. Use his connection to the leader of the Avengers to his advantage and gain the upper hand. He didn’t know how or why Bucky didn’t recognize whom he spoke too, but he fully intended to take advantage of the fact. 

“Welcome to my version of Asgard, Bucky,” Loki crowed to him. Throwing open the door to the library in a flourish as he strolled inside. Bucky followed close behind, having just arrived a few minutes earlier. The times the mortal seemed to be awake were erratic, the last time Bucky had been in contact with him had been a week between the first and second visits. The third one had taken over a month before the human had appeared again, seemingly unaware at the passage of time.

This told Loki a few things about the mortal. Someone had to be keeping an eye on the young man’s body, keeping it alive. The odd coldness Bucky exuded hinted at him being in a deep sleep, but where in Midgard he could found the trickster still did not know. He would inquire during one of their visits, but not today. 

“Your version? Is it better than the real one?” Bucky asked with a snort. He too, found himself secretly glad to be visiting Loki on his turf. After the incident with Steve, he’d fallen into a deep, dark pit. Lingering in his empty space for a time before he’d felt Loki tugging at the edges of his mind. This time he found it easier to come into the other’s mind, glad for the company. 

“It certainly is. There is no other version you should be introduced too,” Loki huffed. Bucky snorted, grinning at Loki’s flourishes as the trickster moved forward into the room. Unlike Bucky’s mindscapes where they were cold, dark, and gray the trickster seemed able to fill his with sunlight. They felt warm on Bucky’s skin and he could almost believe he truly stood there with the trickster instead of some fantasy world. 

“How does your version differ from the real one?” Bucky asked. He picked up a book off the table, flipping it open to peer into the pages. He watched as the colorful pictures began to move, fascinated by how they moved slowly across the page. 

“Mmm, well for one, some rooms will appear in more detail than others. Simply because my recollection of them is clear from spending so much time in them. For instance, the library and throne room are near exact replications of the real thing. Whereas a servant would hardly be able to recall any of these details, but will have an intimate knowledge of the small nooks and crannies located throughout the palace,” Loki explained. 

He watched Bucky going through the books, seemingly amazed by the moving pictures. He and Thor had used to do that before either of them could read, go through the bright pictures in amazement as their mother told them stories. The memory soured the trickster’s mood and the light in the library darkened, but he quickly brightened it again when Bucky raised his head in confusion. 

Now he simply had to work on endearing himself to Bucky and getting the mortal to trust him. Their game, as he thought, could play out. Loki still considered allowing the younger man to win, but it would have consequences. He had made a deal with him and had promised to grant him a boon should he keep him entertained. He would allow for a few more visits until he made his decision. After all, he still technically had six at his disposal to make his decision or declare his boredom on the tenth one. 

“What did you want to do today?” Bucky asked as he snapped the book shut. He’d been feeling skittish just talking and felt like going somewhere or doing something. Loki gave him an amused smirk, tapping his fingers along the edge of the table where Bucky had been gazing at the book. 

“Technically, it’s night for me,” Loki told him. He saw the slow realization hit Bucky as the young man’s eyes widened, absorbing the information.   
“Night?”

“Yes, I’m asleep right now. Well, in a physical sense. How do you think we’ve been able to visit each other this way? We’re both asleep,” Loki told him. Hm, he knew how to play this out. He crooked a finger in the young man’s direction, guiding him towards the door before disappearing through it.   
Bucky trotted after him, curious as to what the trickster had in mind. He’d taken no more than a few steps before he found himself outside. He gaped at the view before him, seeing the waters of Asgard stretching out into space. A second later Loki appeared beside him, admiring the sparkling beauty as ships floated by in the air. What appeared to be fins flared out on either side of them as they were steered in the air. 

“This is Asgard?”

“A small piece of it, yes. I have resided here for most of my life,” Loki answered. Pleased to see Bucky so dumbstruck, most mortals were when they first saw the city. Loki himself despised it, but he couldn’t deny its beauty. There were times its grandeur would be lost to him when he gazed out from the palace windows, but standing here now even he could admire its beauty. 

“Right, you’re a prince. I forgot.”  
“Former prince, actually. But that is a story for another day. Come, you said you wished to do something?” Loki asked him. Bucky nodded, following after Loki as the trickster started to head down towards the water. 

Bucky wasn’t sure of the rules when existing in Loki’s mindscape, but he knew they reached the edge of the waters much faster than expected. By the water were docks with the floating boats, hovering only a few inches away from the place. Unlike his mindscape, Loki’s seemed to be alive with men and women moving about. Exchanging goods, trading, transferring loads, and talking in high voices. Bucky stopped to touch one man who walked past him, only to have his hand brush through it. Bright, golden shimmers moved over the man’s form like water before settling back down again. 

“Illusions, most of them,” Loki said over his shoulder. He went to the first boat on the right, motioning for Bucky to follow after him.   
“Why? Why not make them solid?” Bucky asked as he came over. He took the offered hand of the trickster as Loki helped him up into the boat. The deck bobbed, but didn’t tip over as Bucky settled on the bench running along the side. The rudder towards the back of the boat resembled the large fins on either side of the vessel.   
“I have no desire too. They’re simply here for the atmosphere, a dead illusion can cause one to despair. Besides, attempting to make them solid for you or me would be a wasted effort. We won’t be lingering here long, you’ll see,” Loki commented.

Bucky nodded, nervous as he saw the trickster step into the boat after him. Loki settled near the rudder and touched the steering, moving it up slightly. Bucky threw his arms out to latch onto the sides, his face turning white as the boat began to rise up. And up….and UP….  
“Loki….”

“Relax, I’m not going to dump you over the edge. Besides, even if you did fall you wouldn’t die.”  
“Really?”  
“You’d feel the impact if I had a mind to solidify the ground beneath us or make the water hard. From a certain height it’s just as deadly as the pavement. Mm…well now, come to think of it there was one case where one man died during a projection experience. His mind couldn’t separate the mindscape from reality and he perished in his sleep.”  
“Thanks, Loki.”

“I endeavor to please, Former Sergeant Barnes of the 107th.”

Bucky gave the trickster a dirty glare even as Loki cackled, enjoying the torment as the boat floated higher and higher. When they were floating several stories above the water he flipped a switch on the craft so it would stay at the height. With Bucky still looking at him, Loki winked at him with a wicked grin. Shoving down on the rudder as they shot forward, nearly throwing the former sergeant out of the craft as they whipped up at a high speed like a shot arrow.

Bucky could feel his stomach drop, cowering against the side of the boat as he kept a white knuckled grip on the side. Loki’s cackling hardly helped the situation as his host whipped the boat around a tight turn. Turning the vessel nearly sideways as they lurched around the corner and continued at their high speed.   
“LOKI! SLOW DOWN!” Bucky shouted into the wind. The words were lost though or either the former prince ignored him, continuing to press down on the rudder.   
“Gosh dammit, Loki!”

“Try not to fall!” Loki cackled back to him. Sounding like a madman as he shoved down on the rudder, sending them nearly vertical as the vessel headed towards the water. Bucky shrieked, expecting them to shatter upon impact until Loki pulled up at the last minute.   
Their boat slammed into the water, bouncing up as they raced along the surface. Kicking up a fine spray behind them as droplets flew into Bucky’s face. His heart still had the slow, aching beat as before, refusing to pick up. He couldn’t even breathe right as they raced along, the vessel bouncing every few hundred feet. Loki continuing to laugh as he dodged easily between the other boats, nearly crashing into several. 

Indeed, Loki enjoyed watching Bucky freak out immensely. He’d done this in his youth many times, terrorizing the guards and merchants transferring goods along the water lines. He let up on the speed just a bit, allowing Bucky to readjust himself before lifting the boat back into the air. They’d reached their destination and he wanted the mortal to get a good view of the bridge. Angling the boat so they would fly right beneath it, making the Asgardian sun shine just a bit brighter to pick up the colors shimmering through the crystal.   
“Holy cow,” Bucky whispered. Gaping at the massive Rainbow Bridge above them as Loki flew them beneath it. The trickster circled, raising them a few feet above it before he made another pass. 

Forgetting his fear, Bucky leaned over the side. Squinting against the bright sunlight as he studied the bridge from the boat. The constant shifting colors reminding him of a prism as they flew over it. Loki did a second pass to let him get another eyeful before moving on, guiding the boat over to the city.   
“Crazy son of a bitch,” Bucky said as Loki slowed them down to a pleasant pace. When he turned to look at his host, the trickster had a wolfish grin on his face. Green eyes glittering with mirth and mischief as he steered them over the city. Heading towards the massive palace towering over the roads, shops, and houses of Asgard.   
“Pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Loki chuckled. Bucky snorted, his eyes brightening as he slowly relaxed in the boat. The rush had thrown him for a loop, but the rainbow bridge had certainly been a treat. He still had a white knuckled grip on the sides, not trusting Loki to be taking a maniac nose dive into the streets below.   
“You could have crashed.”

“Even if we had, they’re just illusions. It’s not as if we were ever in any danger.”  
“You can’t go slower like everyone else? Illusory or not?”  
“I’m like no one else, Barnes. Never will be, especially not here in Asgard,” Loki said. His delight in terrifying the mortal losing some of its steam as he said that. Yes, he would never fit in with the people here. Never had in his entire lifetime, the truth only revealing itself when he sought it out.   
“Right…okay pal. I’ll take your word for it,” Bucky murmured. He took a deep breath, relaxing after a few minutes once it became clear Loki did not intend to be giving him whiplash anytime soon. Could he even get whiplash in a dream?

“So, former prince? How does that work?” Bucky asked him curiously.   
“My father disowned me. I found out he had taken me as his own after winning a war. When I found the truth of my heritage he cast me aside,” Loki said bitterly. He wasn’t entirely acting now, his father telling him he was no longer his son had stung. Still did and it made the rage inside of him boil almost to bursting.   
“…I’m sorry to hear that. No father should ever say that to his son, adopted or not,” Bucky said quietly. Loki laughed dryly, no humor in the words as he turned the boat again. Bringing them around to gaze at Thor’s and Odin’s forefathers, leering at them as he listened to the human speak.   
“Tell him that.”

“No, I’m serious. He shouldn’t have, doesn’t matter his reasoning or even if you did something or not. When he took you home with him he made a promise for you. To be your father and to take care of you. Even when you found out who your biological parents were, he should have been there for you,” Bucky said. Loki quirked a brow as he slowed the boat down to a near stop, hovering just a few feet from one of the statues.   
“What makes you think I did something?” Loki asked him.   
“Well…no offense, but I know your kind.”  
“Really? Do tell.”

“You’re the kind of guy who probably seeks out trouble or starts it, right? Steve is the same way, always getting into fights. He’s a decent guy like you are, but he doesn’t know when to quit,” Bucky said with a sigh. Loki remained silent, gazing at the former sergeant intently.   
“Doesn’t make either of you in the wrong or nothin’, but come on. I’m pretty sure if you did do something, you had your reasons, right? And for better or for worse, when your old man took you home he made a PROMISE. A promise to take care of you and to guide you. And if you lost your way and he abandoned you for makin’ a mistake, well, heck. He probably ain’t worth your time.”

“And another thing. It’s his loss, you know? I don’t know you well that well, and you don’t know me, but what he did was WRONG. No father should say that to their son, ever. He’s the one that failed and broke his promise, not you,” Bucky snapped. His expression hardening as he thought of his own father having failed him.   
The admission didn’t help the intense atmosphere between them. Loki quietly contemplating the words as he steered the boat gently past the statues, maneuvering it so it could drift lazily in the open air. He flicked his wrist, bringing down the brightness of the sun and summoning a few clouds to drift past. Casting them in shade now and again as a light breeze picked up, ruffling Bucky’s auburn locks.   
“I take it you have personal experience on the matter? I don’t quite think you were talking about just my father in that little speech,” Loki stated. Bucky’s blush deepened, clearly pissed off with the subject matter. 

“My old man said the exact same words to me. Growing up, he wouldn’t show up to see me or my Ma for weeks at a time. I wanted to become an inventor like Howard Stark and work for him someday. My ma liked the idea and we even started talking about college.”  
“When the old man found out, he insisted I couldn’t go. Too stupid, he told me. I’m too stupid to do that, I’ll end up like nothing and out in the street. He kept fighting me on the issue until eventually we duked it out one night. I knocked him flat and the next day he threw all my stuff out. Told me I wasn’t his son anymore and to get out of his face when I was fourteen,” Bucky said. 

“After that, Steve and his ma let me live with them. I finished high school, got a job down at the docks, and just stuck with Stevie after that. I joined the army when the war started, figuring after it ended I could use my pay to get into a university.”  
“Didn’t work out, I take it?”

“No, it didn’t,” Bucky said quietly. He grew quiet for a few minutes, gazing out over the rainbow bridge and the water. He envied Loki being able to live here, just hop on a boat and go above it all. Just have room to think and to be himself once in a while. Push the rest of the world away so he could breathe once in a while.  
“You’re worth more than that, Loki. I don’t know your old man, but he doesn’t deserve your time if he’s gonna say that to you. No man should say that to his son, heck, no parent should say that to their children,” Bucky muttered quietly.   
“It ain’t right.”

“I believe we can both agree on that,” Loki said quietly.   
He hadn’t expected such an outburst from the young man, gazing out over the water as they both grew quiet. He hadn’t truly thought of his father until just then and he couldn’t remember if anyone but him had said the words Bucky had just voiced aloud. To hear another being, a mortal no less, speak Loki’s own thoughts on the matter felt strange. He felt an ounce of relief to hear such words, even if half of them weren’t true. 

They remained quiet for the rest of their boat ride. Loki steered the boat all over Asgard, allowing Bucky to get a good view of the world he’d grown up in. Bucky seemed pleased enough, often sticking his head out over the side to gawk at the sights. Loki chuckled at seeing the mortal so enraptured by the view, but eventually he realized their time was coming to an end. He could feel his body stirring and went to go land the boat. Angling it so it fit in perfectly beside the dock. He helped Bucky out, even though it certainly wasn’t necessary. 

“I don’t think I answered any of your questions this time around,” Bucky admitted guiltily. He walked with Loki back up to the palace, once again sure the rules were being bent as they reached the front doors of the palace in just a few minutes.   
“The idea is to keep me entertained, Barnes. You certainly revealed enough of yourself to sate my curiosity for the time being,” Loki explained sweetly.  
“I prefer if you call me Bucky, actually. I hate when people say Barnes all the time. Makes me feel like…like…”  
“You’re being belittled by being identified as your sire’s name and not your own?”

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed. He looked up at Loki as the trickster rested his hand on the door. This had become a trick Loki had taught him before he’d left last time. The idea of ‘leaving’ another’s mind by walking through the door. Loki told him it wasn’t necessary, but imagining doing so helped the transition to be less jarring when going back to their own minds.   
“Hey, thank you,” Bucky said. He stepped up to Loki and threw an arm around the trickster’s neck to pull him in for a half hug. The former prince’s body stiffened immediately at the touch, refusing to return it. Bucky released him a second later, staring up at him. Loki had wrinkled his nose at him, displeased by the close touching.   
“What was that for?” Loki asked snidely. 

“Just a thank you for keeping me company. Not abandoning me,” Bucky told him sincerely.   
“I don’t know what for. It was our agreement, is it not?”  
“I know it is, but you don’t know…you don’t know the wars I’ve had to fight recently. The people I’ve had to hurt and just being able to talk to you has helped a lot. I…sorry to get sappy, I’ll see you later, Loki,” Bucky told him. 

“Promise to try and make our next visit a bit more lively at my place, alright?” Bucky said with a crooked grin. He waved goodbye to Loki as he opened the door, stepping through and disappearing.   
Loki frowned as he watched the palace door close heavily, with an echoing finality to make his bones shiver. The words lingered in his mind and heart, tumbling over and over in his mind.   
Sympathy. Empathy…for him, of all people? Bucky had to be half insane to do such a thing, but he had no clear idea who Loki had been or the crimes he had committed. Rogers certainly knew how to pick his friends, that was for sure. And that name…Howard Stark? Perhaps related to the infamous Tony Stark?  
“And what war did you fight in?” Loki asked aloud. He had some leads to track down in the meantime. He needed to unravel the enigma that was Bucky Barnes and his connection the Steve Rogers, aka Captain America.


	4. Winter Soldier

When he came too again, Bucky couldn’t be sure where he was at first. His head hurt immensely and the cold feeling had increased. He stood up, shivering a bit as he looked around. He didn’t remember coming out of his dark stupor before, so this was new. He didn’t see Loki anywhere or even feel that odd tug he’d come to recognize as the trickster entering his mind. 

Bucky rubbed his head as he sat up, his limbs feeling heavy as he moved them. He looked around, realizing he seemed to be on top of a hill. He hadn’t imagined this, had he? Below him stretched an empty field, ending in a broken down barn and a thick line of trees. When he turned around, Bucky found his back had been to a concrete building. He frowned, trying to jog his memory of the building. Why did it feel so familiar?

The entire area happened to be covered in snow too. He let out a low whistle, admiring the fresh layer of snow. When he walked a few steps it crunched pleasantly beneath his feet, causing a silly grin to cross his face. How long had it been since he’d seen clean snow like this? Even when he touched it he felt the pleasant numbness in his fingers.   
While he ran his fingers through the powdery snow, relishing its texture he heard a small pop behind him. He frowned, turning his head and seeing a small powder of snow kick up. Confused, he stared at it before he heard another soft ‘pop’ from behind him. The snow to his right kicked up and it took a split second for his mind to catch up.   
Bucky stood up, dashing forward as he heard another pop behind him. The bullet hit the concrete, chipping it as the former soldier ducked into the doorway. He hit the door, trying to shove it open as he scanned the field. It didn’t take him long to spot the dark figure walking towards him from the barn. The coal spread across his eyes and the black face mask making Bucky lose feeling in his legs. 

Several yards across the field from him stood the Winter Soldier, gazing at him intently. Frost coated the stringy auburn locks, that soulless stare focusing on him. In the thick silence, the soldier began to walk towards Bucky. His combat boots crunching in the snow as he made his way steadily forward. Bringing the rifle up and firing off another shot at his frantic counterpart. 

Bucky ducked his head as he heard the bullet ping off the rusted steel door. He shoved at the door again, yelling for someone to open it up. The soldier continued to close the distance between them, leaving behind crimson footprints in the snow. The warm breath filtering through his mask and curling about his head like smoke. Bucky shouted, pounding on the door until his knuckles started to bleed. Screaming now as he tried to force it open and threw his shoulder into it. 

The door swung open into the concrete building abruptly, causing Bucky to fall hard on his shoulder. He groaned at the pain, hearing another bullet whizz by over his head. He climbed back to his feet, grabbing the door and shoving it shut. Throwing the lock into place as he retreated further into the building. 

Naked bulbs offered the only light in the dim, gray space. He circled, searching for a weapon in the far corners or something to push against the door. Bucky jumped when he heard an echoing thump on the steel door. He looked up and saw the door had a sizeable dent in it and there was another boom. Dust shook from above him in response to the vibrations, the naked bulbs swinging on their wires with each slam on the door. 

Bucky nearly screeched when a door he hadn’t seen to the side opened up and Loki stepped through dressed in his regular ‘Midgardian’ outfit. The trickster frowned as he heard another boom echo from the front, glancing back at Bucky. 

“What in the world are you doing?” Loki asked. Bucky had never been so relieved to see the trickster and came over to him to grasp his hand.   
“We have to leave. Right now,” Bucky said to him. Loki only gave him a bored look, glancing back at the door. 

“What is standing outside you’re cowering from?” Loki asked lazily. Bucky wanted to tear his hair out, shoving Loki back through the door and slamming it shut. They were in another dim room, this one bigger than the last one. In the middle he could see a chair and small silver table. Beside the table lay implements, a mouth guard, surgical knives, and even a few vials Bucky didn’t recognize. He stared at the chair for a few more split seconds until he realized with a chill what it was. It was the electric chair he had been strapped too and wiped. Remembering how the electricity would sizzle through his brain made him balk, turning back to bolt this next door. 

“Bucky, what is happening?” Loki asked. Bucky shot the useless trickster a glare, wishing he would take the situation more seriously. 

“That’s the Winter Soldier,” Bucky hissed at him. Looking around for something, anything to block the entrance. He could hear the front door starting to groan from the blows, probably ready to come off its hinges in the next few minutes. 

“The winter soldier? You’re going to have to give me an explanation,” Loki commented. Bucky bit the inside of his cheek, using the pain to focus his mind as he locked eyes with the trickster. 

“The Winter Soldier is me and he’s not me. He’s programming, Hydra kidnapped me and forced me to follow their orders. They would…they would strap me to that fucking chair and wipe my mind. Working with a clean slate, so to speak, so I would follow their orders,” Bucky said. The memories made him falter again, but the screeching of metal tearing from concrete made his heart drop. His mouth went dry as he rushed around the room, looking for anything to block the door. 

“Interesting…” Loki said, fingers in his pockets. He started to pick at his fingernails, doing nothing to aid the situation.

“Oh my god, LOKI! Either leave or help me! He’s COMING!” Bucky shouted, in his panic getting angry with his friend. Loki’s eyes flicked up to meet his, looking mildly annoyed to be disturbed from his nail picking. The trickster tsked at Bucky as he walked slowly around the room, inspecting the corners for anything to help. 

“Nothing is going to be able to stop him. You can’t escape the demons lurking in your mind. Best to face him now rather than later,” Loki stated. Bucky stopped just long enough to give him a dirty glare, in the process of dragging a heavy wooden shipping container towards the door. Loki walked around and lifted the other end, helping him to carry it towards the door and set it down. 

“Says you,” Bucky huffed. He walked back to the far side of the room again where he had found more of the containers and other crates. He’d torn each lid opened only to find nothing but food supplies and vials of liquids. The brunette had started to wonder if maybe he’d fallen into a nightmare or some kind of personal hell. The bloody footprints of his programming in the snow had bothered him immensely. Did the Winter Soldier intend to kill him? Take over once and for all?

“Says me indeed. Ignore the fact I’m the God of Lies, the Lie Smith, Trickster God, what have you. Conjurer of Illusions and King of Lies I am indeed, but knowing the various aspects of a mindscape and how it works? No, certainly, my words must be nothing but untruths to you should I advise you on how to handle the situation. Please, continue to dart about like a mouse in a trap.”  
“Depends on the trap.”  
“Maze then.”

“Shut up, Loki! And help me!” Bucky snapped. The trickster did indeed help him eventually, together the both of them able to block off the second door. Bucky could already hear the thuds as the Winter Soldier started to smash through this next obstacle. The wall shaking as cracks began to appear in the concrete from the stress. 

“You mentioned programming?” Loki asked as he trailed after Bucky around the room. Watching as the brunette scanned the walls for a place to escape and to slip through into another area. 

“Yeah. That, he’s not even real, the thing coming after us was forced into my head by Hydra. I can’t remember all of it…” Bucky muttered. He tried a door he came across, kicking it and throwing his shoulder against it. The steel door appeared to be rusted shut and after struggling with a few more minutes he moved on. Pacing the wall like a trapped tiger as he kept one eye on the door on the opposite wall. 

“Shall I take the time to explain the phenomenon going on here or will you demand I remain mute during our endeavors?” Loki asked coolly. “Not as if I’m qualified to have such knowledge, mind you, but please. Enlighten me, James, as to how your knowledge is far superior mind in this matter.”

“Okay, oh great and powerful Silvertongued Loki. What the fuck is going on in my head?”

“No idea, come back next week.”

“LOKI!”

“Are all mortals this impatient? Must be your impending death that rushes you so…what’s happening right now can’t hurt you. At least not in the final sense. You’ll feel pain, sure, but your programming is your fear. It will continue to pursue you even if you should awake,” Loki instructed him. Bucky stopped to look at the trickster, his hand on the handle of the second door. 

“Unless you face it now, it will chase you until you die. Or you go insane, whichever happens first.”

“But I can’t win,” Bucky stated. Loki gave him a sideways glance, clearly not believing him.   
“And why is that?”

“I just…I can’t. He’s…IT is in control. Still is, it’s why I went under. Steve didn’t want me too, but I’m a danger to people,” Bucky said. Frustrated with the trickster as he looked back at the far wall once more. Now Loki’s interest had been piqued, he needed to know more about the mortal’s situation. 

“What do you mean, ‘go under’? I just assumed you were asleep,” Loki said airily. Bucky’s eyes became downcast, his features paling when he heard the screeching of the steel from the far side of the room. He desperately tried to shove the door open again, but it wasn’t budging. He grit his teeth, wishing he still had his metal arm to smash the door down. 

“I am. Sort of, I’m on ice.”

“You’re going to have to explain.”

“I’m in a cryogenic sleep, basically frozen for the most part. It stops the body from aging, but you can be woken up out of it. During the 1940s I fought in World War II with Steve and I…had an accident,” Bucky said quietly. Loki continued to be quiet, listening intently now to the mortal’s story. He had to admit, he found this all absolutely fascinating as he stepped closer to the young man. 

“I got captured by Hydra and they turned me into a weapon. What put me over the edge was this guy who knew how to activate my programming. I blacked out, but when I came too Steve and his friend Sam were standing over me. They had to lock me down to prevent me from attacking. I’m not stable, Loki,” Bucky said. Glancing forlornly at the trickster who gazed at him in surprise. 

“I’m sorry I lied to you.”

“You didn’t-“ Loki began when the door came crashing down. He heard smashing wood and turned to see the Winter Soldier smashing his way through the box. His metal arm glittering in the pale light as he ripped everything part. When he raised his eyes, they locked immediately on Bucky. The former soldier gazed back grimly as the Winter Soldier raised his rifle and gazed down the sight. 

“BUCKY!” Loki yelled, grabbing him and yanking him to the side. The bullet pinged off the concrete harmlessly, but Bucky’s limbs seemed to have gone limp. He shook the young man, gazing at the demon glaring at them. Despite the tepid air, the frost persisted on the creature. His hair coated in frost and where skin met his mask had begun to turn an unhealthy shade of blue. 

Loki had never seen such self-loathing manifest in such a strong form. He had his own demons who would reach out in the middle of the night in his deepest dreams, conspiring to drag him down. Loki had learned to step above them, to avoid those haunting thoughts before they consumed him. This though? He had never seen anything quite like it and the fact Bucky seemed to have no control of it spoke another truth. 

Mind control in its worst form. Loki had done it himself, but that had been through his staff. This was an entirely different form all together, something buried deep into the subconscious to the point where it had become a separate entity. 

“Follow me,” Loki said. Even though he had no idea of where they could go. He reached for the door and with some effort forced the handle down and shoved it open. Bringing Bucky into the next room and throwing it closed, hearing another gunshot go off.   
“He’s coming to kill me.”  
“No, he’s not. Think of a soldier.”  
“Easier said than done…”

“You need a defender right now! There is only so much I can do for you. If you can’t fight for yourself, than think of someone to fight for you! Surely there’s someone you believe can stand up to that fear of yours in the next room? At least stall him?” Loki asked him. 

Bucky’s lips were thin as he considered the order. They even showed him to be a bit blue and the trickster had to wonder how in the world he was able to interact with the mortal. If he were in a state of physical death so to speak, how were they able to communicate with each other? Odd, but a riddle for the God of Lies to solve another day.   
Bucky concentrated as he tried to conjure up a protector for himself. Someone he knew would stand up to the monster in the other room. Who never backed down even when the odds were stacked against him…

Bucky smiled and a second later Steve appeared in all his Captain America glory. Loki balked, almost attacking until he realized it was whom Bucky had chosen to defend himself. Steve didn’t have his mask on, but he did have his shield and the rest of his uniform. He glanced at Bucky and the former soldier grinned tiredly, glad to see his friend again. Even if it happened to be in his own thoughts.

“Hey, Rogers. You mind getting the door for me?” Bucky asked. Steve didn’t return the grin, but Bucky hadn’t expected him too. He had trouble figuring out all this mental stuff Loki kept talking about. 

Steve lifted his shield and went towards the door, meeting Bucky’s fears head on. When the Winter Soldier saw him he reacted immediately, attacking with his metal arm as Steve raised to block. Loki grasped Bucky’s hand again, hurrying him away from the fight and through another door. 

Door after door they walked through, each room changing rapidly or revealing another scene from Bucky’s past. Sometimes they would be walking through the streets of Brooklyn in the 1940s with the rain coming down on them. Other times they would walk through modern looking rooms, even once passing an odd cell with a steel chair in a glass box set in the middle of a concrete room. When he noticed Bucky pressing his lips together and looking away in shame, he wondered if it was yet another incident with the Winter Soldier taking over. 

They continued to walk until they came to another street. Loki looked up to seen the brownstone and went up the stairs two at a time. He shoved the door open and brought him and Bucky inside, slamming the door behind them. Bucky wrung his hands, breathing slowly as his eyes dilated. Shivering from the sheer cold that never seemed to go away and seep into his bones. 

“We should be safe here. This place appears to be one of the spots you associate strongest with,” Loki said. He took off his scarf and jacket, tossing them off to the side as he sat down on the couch with a sigh. Bucky nodded numbly, going to sit down on the opposite side of the couch with the trickster. 

“Will he come here?” Bucky asked quietly. Loki glanced over at him, but for once he couldn’t even answer the question. 

“I don’t know. He could or he couldn’t, depending on how you feel. This is the corner of your mind that is safest for you. The emotions surrounding it are quite palatable,” Loki explained tiredly. Even he was out of breath from their flight, whether mental or not. 

“Your emotions are what give you strength here and your ability to master your own. On the other hand, the Winter Soldier, unfortunately, is quite a lethal force. He could very well appear here with or without your consent,” Loki told him. He almost wanted to say it was another consciousness existing in Bucky’s head, but he couldn’t be sure it was quite that either. 

“I have no control here. I haven’t for the last seventy years,” Bucky laughed shallowly. Loki glanced at the soldier, feeling a pang as Bucky started to speak again.   
“Hell, I was what? 20 when I joined the army? I just wanted to attend university and work for Howard Stark’s company. Work beside him and be an inventor and do…so much…I didn’t want to hurt people. I never asked for this! I didn’t DESERVE this!” Bucky said, throwing his arm at the door. His voice growing louder and higher as started to talk, sounding frantic. 

“It’s not fair he gets to terrorize me when I haven’t done anything WRONG!”

“Then don’t let him terrorize you,” Loki stated simply. He noted the frustrated expression on Bucky’s face and continued.

“Let me tell you something I’ve learned during my time in the nine realms. Nothing is ever ‘fair’ in this life. Did you deserve what Hydra did to you? No, you didn’t, but that doesn’t stop people from hurting each other, does it? Your heritage, your being, and your life may seem like there yours to control, but in the end they’re not,” Loki said. He stood up and walked over to Bucky, tapping him on the forehead as he spoke. 

“The only control you have is your soul which is separate from the mind. What makes you Bucky will stay ‘Bucky’, regardless if you’re able to hold on to those memories or not. But if you admit defeat and allow that creature to rampage through your mind, you’ll have lost the only thing Hydra wasn’t able to get. They would have won and established their hold on you,” Loki chided him. 

“You want to be their puppet? Be my guest, but only wallow in self-pity if it benefits your end goal. Not because you’re afraid to act,” Loki snapped at him. Bucky glared at him, pissed now Loki would speak to him in such a manner. 

“I know what it is to be controlled. James Barnes. And your mind not be your own, I understand. But just because you didn’t get what you want out of life doesn’t mean you still can’t fight back and say ‘damn them all’. This is a fight you can still win, but only you can determine that,” Loki stated. 

Bucky didn’t respond, instead turning his back to the trickster and breathing heavily. Loki waited a few beats, looking at the young man’s back. 

“Are you admitting defeat?” Loki asked after a minute.  
“To what?”  
“Our game?”  
“That wasn’t enough excitement for you?”

Loki didn’t say anything else, quietly gazing at the back of Bucky’s neck. He could see the muscles flexing as the former soldier worked through his emotions. Trying to come to terms with the boon he’d been granted in life. Loki reached out a hand and rested it on his shoulder, waiting for Bucky to calm down. The young man didn’t shrug him off or walk away, but instead resigned himself to the touch. 

“That’s just it though. I don’t know how to stop him. Some guy was able to…activate the programming. I can’t stop it, I fight and fight, but it always takes over,” Bucky said sadly. Turning around to look at Loki, grabbing the trickster’s hand in his own. The touch surprised the trickster, how cold the feeling was beneath his own fingers. Bucky felt like ice, unnatural considering he was a mortal and not a frost giant. 

“There must be a way to block it out,” Loki stated idly. Bucky only shook his head, pushing a hand through his hair as he tried to think. Still holding on to the trickster as if he were a lifeline. Loki lightly squeezed the hand back, surprised by how he could feel just the slightest pulse in those fingers. 

“If there is, I have no idea. I’ve always had….the Winter Soldier had handlers to control him. To debrief him and to send him towards a new target. Define a new mission….” Bucky said quietly. 

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin to dismantle the damage Hydra is done. I don’t even want to wake up. I want to die.”  
Bucky couldn’t read Loki’s expression when the trickster went blank. At first, he thought he’d angered the other by voicing his concerns aloud. However, Loki didn’t appear to be angry or sad or even annoyed with him. Instead, he only gave Bucky a blank expression as if he didn’t know him anymore. Bucky waited, wondering if he had said the wrong thing or if he should start talking again.   
“If that is all you need, you should have asked from the beginning. I can make that happen, boon or no boon,” Loki said, his expression hardening. Bucky blinked, wondering if the trickster was joking or not.   
“Really?” Bucky asked him. Loki hated the eagerness in Bucky’s voice and for an instant had the urge to smack him. 

“Yes, it would be like falling asleep. Considering your state, you’re not that far from death either. It would be a simple matter to just push you an inch in either direction,” Loki told him. Still, he didn’t move to touch the former soldier anymore and withdrew his hand. Feeling his own heart quickening as anger surged through him. Rage this…this being he’d been interacting with would give up so easily.   
“I would suggest, however, to truly think about whether that’s your best option. Should you win this game, I owe you a boon.”  
“IF I win.”

“IF you win, Bucky Barnes, I can help you to lock away your programming. Perhaps even get rid of it completely,” Loki told him. Bucky stopped at that, looking up at the trickster with wide eyes. His brain processing those words as his mouth went dry, trying to translate what they meant. 

“You could have your life back. Rebuild it. I’m sure you have people or at least one person whom cares for you, correct? Do you truly wish to leave all that behind if there’s a chance you can reclaim your life?” Loki asked him. Bucky opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. The trickster only shook his head, disgusted this soldier would give in so easily. 

“Consider my offer. After our next visit, if you still wish to end this I will do so. Payment for the companionship you’ve offered me thus far,” Loki said, glaring at the young man.  
“I’ll take my leave now. You obviously have much to consider,” Loki told him sharply. 

Bucky meant to stop him, to ask Loki for advice or to inquire whether he was real or not. He didn’t have a chance too when the trickster went to the front door and opened it. Slamming it behind him hard enough to make the windows rattle in the small apartment. Bucky felt his knees go weak, thinking of no longer being able to talk to Loki. End it all? And maybe…just MAYBE…he could have his life back? 

Maybe, just maybe, Loki was real? He wasn’t some figment of Bucky’s imagination? When he’d held his hand, he still felt that odd coolness seeping into his fingers. Warmer than the constant freezing cold Bucky felt now whenever he became aware of himself. He rubbed his fingers together, shivering now that he was alone.   
He couldn’t say for sure, but he wondered if Loki would be sad to lose him. After all, this was all just a game to him, right?


	5. No Rest for the Wicked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bleak Souls is in progress, more chapters coming in the future.

“There’s been an increase in brain activity lately.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means he’s waking up when he shouldn’t be.”

Steve rubbed his jaw as he stared at the screen, seeing the brainwaves of his best friend spike up before settling back down. They’d been active earlier and alarms had gone off when it became clear Bucky had become distressed in his cryogenic sleep. The doctors had come rushing in, checking vitals, running tests, but eventually it had all died down. Bucky no longer showed signs of being distressed, instead his brainwaves falling down to the low spikes of activity indicating only the essentials were still functioning.   
The former Captain America didn’t know what to make of these changes. Everyone had naturally assumed in the first few weeks it had been nothing more than a freak accident. These things were known to happen, just the brain settling down and getting used to its new state of being. Now though, every couple of weeks Bucky’s brain would increase in its activity. Spiking up to alarming levels where even T’Challa had come in to silently observe the proceedings. Levels, the doctor’s indicated, Bucky was slowly regaining awareness and trying to wake up. 

“What do you suggest we do?” Steve asked after a few minutes. He turned to gaze into the chamber where Bucky lay, feeling his heart wrench at the sight. Saying goodbye the second time, even knowing his friend wasn’t ‘dead’ had been hard. Bucky had known he hadn’t wanted him to go under, but it hadn’t been Steve’s choice. It’s what his friend had wanted, demanded even, because he feared the programming lurking behind his mind. That loss of control had terrified his friend and Bucky didn’t want to hurt anyone else. Steve had wanted to tell him no, but when his best friend had spent the last seventy years under orders of Hydra and having his entire life stolen from him, who was he to tell him otherwise?

“We could always awaken him. Perhaps he does not wish to be asleep anymore?” T’Challa stated. He had shown no emotion on the subject, but Steve knew the king cared deeply about Bucky. He just wanted the former soldier to find peace and had gone to great lengths to ensure Bucky had a safe place to rest.   
“Buck wanted this though. I don’t know…” Steve trailed off until one of the doctor’s spoke up.   
“We may have too if this continues. He may have said otherwise, but at the least we’re under obligation to do a physical. This shouldn’t be happening in the first place,” the doctor indicated, tapping the screen. 

“His brain activity should not be so active in his current state. If there any more instances of his brain activity increasing, for his personal health and safety waking him will have to be done,” the doctor explained. 

Steve just pressed his lips together, walking over to the glass and gazing down at his friend inside. He couldn’t read what was going on in there with Bucky, not for the first time he wished he could reach in and grab his hand. Shake Bucky’s shoulder and see his eyes open again, ask him what he needed him to do to make the nightmares in his head to disappear.

“What are you dreaming about in there, Buck?” Steve asked quietly, his breath misting over the surface of the glass.   
\--  
Loki pushed the doors open to the throne room for the former soldier to enter. He greeted Bucky coldly, not offering so much as a smirk when the young man walked into his mindscape. Bucky looked more haggard than he had last time and the trickster noticed there was a five o’clock shadow going on with him. When he’d first met the brunette, he’d had short cropped hair and a stunning smile. Now it seemed a bit longer and the way the former soldier carried himself spoke of a sloped posture rather than the confident stride the trickster had come to expect from his friend.  
Wait, friend?! Since when did the noble Loki, God of Lies, have friends?   
“Hey, Lokes,” Bucky said quietly when he entered. Loki ignored his inner turmoil of friendship and frowned at the nickname. He’d never heard that name from the soldier before now.   
“What did you call me?” Loki hissed, ready to kick him out. Bucky gave him a quizzical look, eyebrows shooting up into his hairline.  
“Lokes? Why, you don’t like it?” Bucky asked him. 

“What do you mean by such a nickname?”  
“I mean…I’m referring to you, as Loki. But I consider you my Loki and I want to call you something other than Loki, so I went with Lokes,” Bucky answered with a shrug. Loki frowned at the explanation, not liking how the mortal tried to turn it around to make it as if he’d insulted him.   
“I’ll tolerate your inane nickname for now, mortal. But you’ll rue the day you use it in a negative context.”  
“If I had boots I’d be shakin’ in em’.”  
“Good.  
“And we’re back to the whole ‘I’m a god and you’re a mortal’ dilemma again? Why you switching back to that?”  
“Because you’re weak and I’ve rethought our game,” Loki snapped. Bucky pressed his lips together, his expression hardening as the trickster spoke.  
“Oh, don’t worry. You’ll still have a chance. But you must convince me you’re worth my time if you wish to win this game. Your lifespan being so short, I can imagine it’s a pressing matter when you consider it as a whole,” Loki sneered at him. Bucky lightly shook his head, his eyes guarded now as he listened to the trickster.  
“What would you have me to do to convince you?”

“Give me a reason why I should not kill you. Why you aren’t as worthless as the scum who reside in Midgard and deserve to be in my presence?” Loki snarled, wishing he had something to throw down or kick. A childish desire, to be sure, but he wished for it none the less.   
“I’m not worth anything. Unless you look at Hydra, but I’m sure they could probably replace me with some other poor schmuck off the street…” Bucky said quietly. Looking down at the floor, unable to meet the trickster’s heated gaze. 

“I forgot who said it, but someone state that you’re only worth the sum of your parts. And…I mean come on, you already know my story. I wanted to go be an inventor and do all these great things. Help people, be a hero when I got home…and for what? Nothing. I get captured and forced to kill people for the next seventy years. And just when I start to think I have control over my life again one guy with a red book brings it all crashing down,” Bucky said as he looked at Loki. He came closer to the trickster so they were eye to eye now, deciding this time he wasn’t backing down. 

“You know, I like you, Loki. I do. You’re a decent guy. Dunno that much about you, you never talk about your story or what it is you do. But talking to you and being around you is…it makes the pain go away for a bit. I don’t have Stevie, he’s off saving the world and leading the Avengers. There’s no room for me in his life anymore, not like it used to be. The world is a lot more different than when we were just two kids in Brooklyn,” Bucky explained. 

“So to answer your question, no. I’m not worth more than anyone on Earth or Midgard or whatever you want to call it. I’m not and I never thought I would be. But I know…no, I hope the time I spend with people I care about is worth something to them. Because their time is worth a helluva lot to me since it’s so short. Especially yours since out of all the thousands of years you could be doing something else or talking to someone else, you ended up talkin’ to me. I treasure that and…I just wanted to thank you for that.”

Gosh dammit, Loki thought to himself. Just when he thought he could so easily kill this mortal he had to go around and tug at the little humanity he had left. Loki hadn’t even known he’d had it there to begin with until he’d grabbed Bucky’s hand during their last visit and led him away.   
Loki turned away from him, pacing away from the former soldier as he bowed his head, thinking about those words. True, he did enjoy Bucky’s company immensely. He’d come to look forward to going to sleep each night, wondering if the soldier would be awake. This time it had been shorter, only four days before he felt his friend – such an odd phrase to think about – tugging at the edges of his mind. Loki had never told Bucky, but the more they visited each other’s mindscapes the easier to became to enter each other’s mind. What had started as an assault on the Avengers had rapidly transformed into something different all together. 

“You’re a fool to think I’d treasure your time,” Loki sneered, his back still to Bucky. He heard the former soldier walk up behind him and spun around, coming face to face to him.   
“You’re worthless! And you deserve to die!”  
“Yeah, I do.”  
“Stop agreeing with me!”  
“Why? Because I’m willing to walk away from all this or because you know you’d miss me despite all your big talk? Loki, I’ve dealt with a guy like you before. He’s my best friend,” Bucky said, refusing to back down now. 

“You can’t stand there and tell me you want me dead. I think if anything, you like these conversations we have all the time. Whenever I talk to you your face lights up. When I first met you the throne room just felt cold and dark. Now it’s warm whenever I come over here,” Bucky said as he studied Loki. The trickster’s lips were pressed into a thin line, his emerald eyes glittering dangerously.   
“Look, I don’t know you or your story. Okay? I don’t, but obviously you’ve…you’ve seen some shit. I’m not here to hurt you. I consider you a friend,” Bucky said to him. Loki still didn’t say anything as he continued to glare at the mortal. 

“I mean it. I-“  
“Get out.”  
“What?”  
“You heard me, get out. You’ve fulfilled your obligation, I’ll see you during our next visit,” Loki snapped at him. His hand lashed out and grabbed Bucky by the collar of his shirt. He forced the young man back out the way he’d come, making Bucky decide to either start walking backwards or trip over his own feet.   
“Loki…”  
“Out! OUT!” Loki shouted until he’d shoved him through. He threw Bucky out and slammed the doors behind him, a split second later waking up in his own bed with shuddering gasp.   
Loki sat up in bed, summoning a dim light as he breathed hard. He’d broken out in a cold sweat in the night, his heart pounding in his chest. Loki closed his eyes, centering himself as he tried to regain control. He couldn’t do this much longer. His emotions were getting the best of him and dragging him down to that accursed young man’s level. Bucky was just a casualty of war, nothing more.   
But then why did he bother helping him? Why now when he knew the soldier to be right about the feelings he had for him, did he let get to him? How long had it been since he, Loki, had such an outburst? 

Panic, he’d panicked when Bucky had hit every truth dead on without hesitation. Knowing for the first time in a while someone had walked up to him and just enjoying being with the trickster for…being himself. What had Bucky said? Loki reminded him of his best friend? Being compared to Captain America made the trickster snort as he rolled over in bed. His character was nothing like that noble man, never could be. If anything, Thor matched up well with him, Steve just didn’t have the arrogance the thunderer possessed.   
Still, it begged the question why Loki bothered to care so much about one mortal life. There were so many…so many of them scattered across the dirt surface of Midgard. Why did this one out of the millions and billions of souls down there have to stumble into Loki’s mindscape? Why couldn’t it have been Tony Stark or Bruce Banner to do so? Hell, he would have taken the Captain himself if it hadn’t been for the damn brunette who kept coming back into his dreams. 

Still though…still, could he deny how he felt about the young man? Loki shook his head as he rose from his bed, dismissing the pale light source as he moved about the room. This façade of pretending to be his father had started to wear down on him. Being king, he did nothing more than hear out the complaints of the people and maintain the peace. Once in a while calling upon Thor to act as diplomat or to raise his hammer for Asgard. Obtaining the throne had been more fun than holding it and Loki felt an urge to fall into his old tricks again. 

He pushed back the curtains and gazed out over the water, thinking back to Bucky once more. He did like the human, he realized. Loki enjoyed the other’s companionship, the look of amazement on his face at such simple pleasures Loki had come to take for granted in his life. Would it be so bad, Loki thought, if he simply took this human with him? Kept him hidden and locked away to enjoy while he ruled in Asgard? It would be a simple matter to keep Bucky under and continue their nightly romps in their respective mindscapes. Loki could tell the human had no concept of time, so it would be a simple matter of moving him. 

Gazing out over the night of Asgard, Loki made his choice. He would take Bucky the next chance he got, learn where the human’s body was being kept so he could come down to snatch him up. It would be a simple task, he thought, to take the soldier for his own. He’d just have to set up a room for him, prepare a few spells, and see to it he was entertained during his stay. 

Loki watched as the sun began to rise slowly over Asgard, hitting the rainbow bridge at just the right angle so a shard of colors washed over the palace. Splashes of smaller rainbows dancing across the palace and all of Asgard as the sun came up, shifting the colors with it. Hm, Bucky would have loved to see that, Loki thought. Letting the curtain fall shut, he considered the preparations he would have to make for his new companion. Smiling to himself, he called the magic which gave him eh appearance of the All Father. 

As they say, no rest for the wicked.


	6. Awakening

Bucky rubbed his hands together, shivering quietly as he gazed at the floor. When Loki had shoved him out, he’d fallen back into his own mindscape. He licked his lips, wondering why now of all times he felt so thirsty. And empty – and cold- why did all of this just effect him now? Maybe it was just in his imagination, his mind kept trying to make this world of his make sense so he felt a shadow of the things he used to desire. Something that made him ache for more familiar territory. 

Still thinking about it, Bucky raised his eyes when he heard the front door open and shut. Loki stood there, gazing at him intently. The soldier stood up, still shivering quietly from the cold. The trickster moved forward, coming up to grasp Bucky’s hand and squeeze it. He glanced down, not knowing what to say from their last confrontation. 

“I’m sorry,” Loki said to him. Bucky didn’t respond, just let Loki hold his hand as the trickster kept those emerald green eyes trained on him. Taking him apart piece by piece and putting him back together without a second thought. 

“No you’re not,” Bucky said quietly. He ripped his hand from Loki’s grasp, hating the feel of those cool fingers on his skin. Compared to the deep chill he’d been feeling, Loki felt almost warm to him now and Bucky found it disturbing. 

“Don’t be childish, Bucky. I am,” Loki said. The corners of his mouth turning down as he followed him to the couch. Bucky didn’t want to be near him, so he walked around it, placing the piece of furniture between them as he gripped the edge. Trying to ground himself as he felt a wave of pain pass over him. The entire room wavered and came back into focus, with Loki stopping to blink before he continued. 

“Are you alright?”

“No, I feel cold. I’m always so cold and now I’m hungry and thirsty…” Bucky complained. He ran a hand through his hair, clenching his teeth as the pain came back again. The pain was new and he wondered if it had to do with the deep seated cold he felt. Had he felt pain the last couple of times he’d been trapped in the cryogenic chamber? No, he couldn’t quite be sure about that, could he?

Loki tilted his head to the side, watching Bucky starting to pace. He could sense it now and even hear the soldier’s heartbeat in his ears. Something was wrong here, it wasn’t like the last few times. He knew Bucky felt cold and had assumed it was nothing more than his state of being, but the way he was shivering spoke volumes. There was also the fact Bucky’s features had been changing with each visit. When before he’d been much happier and seemed whole, now he seemed to have aged. The stubble along his cheeks, the long hair, and how Bucky moved as if he were expecting someone to rip the rug out from under him at any minute. 

Bucky leaned on the couch and the room felt as if it were tilting again. When his vision cleared Loki was by his side all of a sudden, supporting him. When he raised his head it took a great effort and the soldier swayed, just feeling so…tired. He felt exhausted. He wanted to lay down for a long time and just never get up again.   
“Bucky?” Loki said again. The soldier took longer to respond this time, but when he did he raised his eyes to Loki’s. The sockets were empty, as if he were having a hard time processing the words. 

“Bucky, where are you right now? Where’s your body?”

“I can’t….I can’t tell you….I…”

“Bucky, your body is dying. You need to tell me where you are!”

“What can you do?”

“I can SAVE you, idiot!” Loki yelled at him. Bucky only swayed back and forth and the room went away again, this time gone for a full thirty seconds before Bucky came back into existence.

“Did I win?” Bucky asked, starting to feel light. Everything felt so warm to him now, like he’s stepped into a warm bath. 

“Yes, you won! Now, where are you?!” Loki shouted. 

“Wakanda…it’s in Africa. There’s a giant black panther statue outside the…” Bucky swayed back and forth again. He opened his eyes to ask Bucky why he needed to know where he was, but the trickster had vanished from his sight. He closed his eyes again and let the warmth take over, not wanting to open his eyes again. 

Loki left Bucky’s mindscape in a rush, his own heart pounding. Too soon, he was going to lose the human too soon! He rapidly thought of where in Wakanda Bucky had to be. A black panther statue? Loki thought and realized where the man had to reside, there was king who had one built quite some time ago. 

He teleported, slipping through a small stream left behind by the rainbow bridge. An instant later he found himself standing in front of a large cylinder, hearing small beeps going off. Loki frowned, gazing into the cylinder when he realized there was a body inside. His eyes widened as he recognized the face, seeing Bucky shake in the small space. How…?  
He didn’t have time to consider the options, only that he had to get him out of there. Loki withdrew his knife and banked on the glass, using the hilt to smash it in. It only bounced off, leaving a small crack. Too small, he needed something bigger. He’d smash it in minutes, but Bucky didn’t have that much time. He was convulsing in the fucking container and there was no telling how much longer he would last. Loki could see the frost on the man’s hair and the glass, not to mention Bucky had stated he’d felt hungry and thirsty. How long had he been awake in there, suffering?

Loki held his arm out and pictured it, the round shield with the stripes and the star in the middle. HE didn’t know the material, but it was something impossibly strong. A metal that was heavy, but light enough to be carried wherever the user went. Strong enough to absorb the blast from a particular staff Loki had carried once and even able to withstand Mjolnir. The shield appeared an instant later, weighing down Loki’s arm momentarily, but he didn’t care. He didn’t need expertise to lift it and bring it smashing down as hard as he could on the glass. 

The cracking was satisfying and a hiss of freezing cold air and chemicals came pouring out. Loki smashed again and again, breaking through a second layer of glass to reach the soldier. He could see Bucky now and his pale skin, see him shaking violently from the cold. Loki smashed further until he’d managed to clear off the worst of the glass, reaching in and grabbing Bucky. Lifting him out easily and too the floor into the warm air. Bucky let out a gasp, drawing in breath as he started to cough. The moisture on his hair starting to slowly melt as he shivered at Loki’s feet, his eyes still closed. 

The first thing Loki thought was how…fragile Bucky looked. Laying there at his feet frosted over and shivering, he looked like someone the trickster would have killed out of a misplaced sense of mercy. The thought came to him unbidden he could do that, but what would be the point? This was still Bucky…the Bucky he’d been talking too all that time. Just cold, shivering, and missing his left arm…oh, he hadn’t known that. 

“Sir, SIR! Something is wrong, the alarms are going off!” A woman’s voice shouted in the hallway. Loki pivoted, still holding the shield on his arm. He heard a hiss as the door to the room opened and a woman came rushing in. Loki assumed she must be one of the medical staff judging by her white coat. She didn’t notice Loki the first few seconds she was in the room, hurriedly hitting buttons and checking vitals on a console. Well, maybe he should have thought to check their first, but oh well…

When the woman did notice him she froze, her eyes flicking down to the passed out man of Bucky Barnes at Loki’s feet. Her eyes flickered up and Loki saw the puzzled concern turn into pure panic. He couldn’t help but smirk at her, seeing her expression starting to widen.   
“You’re…you’re…” the woman said, unable to get the name out. 

“Hello, sweetheart. I apologize for the disturbance, just came to fetch a friend,” Loki said to her easily. He heard coughing and glanced down, seeing the frost on Bucky’s hair had started the melt. His eyelids fluttered as he opened them, coming back to reality. 

The first thing Bucky heard was screaming, but he couldn’t make out the words. He detected a flash in his blurry gaze and heard the thump of a body. His first thought was that he had killed someone again, but the ground was horizontal. No, he was laying on the ground and when he turned his head slightly, he saw the back of a black boot. He reached up, his arm feeling like a weight. He grabbed at the boot, curling his fingers into the stiff leather to make his presence known. He opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a low groan. 

A second later someone dressed in gold and green knelt in front of him. The boot shifted, moving to face towards Bucky and he felt a hand in his hair. Gently petting him as he turned his head to see a pale face filling his vision. Bucky blinked slowly, feeling those cool fingers petting him gently. 

“Did I kill anyone?” Bucky asked the face weakly. The emerald eyes narrowed slightly, not amused by the question. 

“No, but I did just knock a woman out. She’ll be fine other than a headache,” Loki stated calmly. Bucky smiled tiredly at that, but didn’t move to stand up. The ground felt comfortable at the moment and with this man petting his hair, he was content to remain there too. 

“Who….what did you do to her?” A deep voice intoned. Loki looked up from the floor where he’d been brushing back Bucky’s hair. A black man stood in the doorway, filling it as he glared at Loki. The trickster narrowed his eyes and rose smoothly, unsheathing the shield and letting it fall to his hand. The man reached down for a gun, but Loki beat him to it. He lifted the shield and threw it as hard as he could, watching the man duck as the shield lodged into the wall behind him. Damn, he almost had him!

“T’Challa, is Bucky okay?!” Loki heard an all too familiar voice say in the hall. He heard more yells, but already he was kneeling again and getting his arm underneath Bucky. Pulling the man’s arm around his shoulders and lifting him, feeling Bucky shift weakly as he tried to get his legs underneath his own bodyweight. 

Steve stepped through the door and for a moment the world turn sideways. For a split second, he could only stare at the sight before him. Bucky out of the cryogenic chamber, being held up by Loki, the adopted brother of Thor. He tried to make the connection of how in the world the trickster could be here and why he would be after Bucky. Why Bucky of all people?

“Put him down,” Steve growled. He noticed his shield of all things embedded into the wall and reached for it, yanking it out of the wall and stepping towards them. Bucky’s head rolled, his eyelids fluttering as he came too again. He felt bile rising up in the back of his throat and looked up, noticing Steve coming towards him with his shield. 

“I’m sorry, Stevie,” Bucky said weakly. Mistaking the rage on his old friend’s face for him. 

“It’s fine, Buck. Put him down, Loki! Or I’ll-“

“Or you’ll what? Put him under again? I’m here because he wants me to be here,” Loki hissed back. 

“What kind of friend freezes a man and then leaves him to die?” Loki snapped back at him. Steve’s face started to turn red as he imagined smashing his shield into the trickster’s face, but Bucky was there. Loki could easily hurt him or even kill his old friend given a chance. 

“He…he asked to be put under. Why are you here?” Steve asked, the pulse in his neck increasing. 

“I told you, he asked me to save him. And that’s exactly what I’m doing,” Loki hissed back. 

“Stevie…I didn’t…he’s a friend…” Bucky slurred, but he couldn’t get the rest of the words out. Loki felt warm now, real, unlike the last few times they’d met. He raised his head again and saw him standing there and he smiled at him. 

“You do realize you’re awake, correct?” Loki snapped at Bucky. 

“I am?”

“Yes, and we’re leaving. Now,” Loki said. Steve opened his mouth to protest, but a split second later the trickster had vanished. He heard pounding down the hallway as Wanda came in a second later, T’Challa having stepped back into the room with Steve. 

“How did that man get in here?” T’Challa asked with a hiss. Steve just shook his head, looking down at his shield. 

“Bucky said he was a friend, but I don’t know when Loki would have the chance to talk to him. Let alone know who he is or where he is…” Steve murmured. It just didn’t make any sense to him, what was Loki’s interest in his friend?

“He took him…” Steve said quietly. He closed his eyes and rubbed his face, feeling sick to his stomach. He’d fought to get Bucky back, gone through so much…only for him to disappear right from under his nose. Realizing the woman on the floor was starting to wake up, he knelt down to help her. Ignoring T’Challa who stepped in to inspect the scene and murmuring curses underneath his breath. 

“Ma’am, are you alright?” Steve asked her gently. He took off the shield and set it up against the wall, slipping a hand underneath the woman’s head and gently lifting it up. 

“I’m…I’m fine. I’m sorry sir, but he was dying.”

“Who was?”

“Your friend, something went wrong and he was…dying. I’m sorry, we didn’t catch it in time. The system wasn’t working properly and he was starting to wake up,” the woman said. Struggling to get up as Steve helped her, supporting her back and offering support. 

“…he was?” Steve said quietly. Thinking about what Loki had said and it made sense now. But how would Loki know Bucky would be dying? It didn’t add up or make sense to him in the least, but somehow he’d known. He’d known and come to save Bucky and take him away. But…how the hell did he know?

In the meantime, Loki swiftly carried Bucky through the hallways of the palace. The soldier’s head lolled to the side, bouncing every few steps on the trickster’s shoulder. Loki wasted precious time to take off his jacket to wrap it around the human before continuing on his way. His first plan had been to lay Bucky down in a room he would prepare for his continued sleep, but the situation had thrown that idea right out the window. 

When he reached his quarters he lifted Bucky up bodily and laid him down on the bed. Bucky had started to shiver, a good sign in Loki’s opinion since that meant the soldier’s body hadn’t given up. His body’s natural reactions were starting to wake up again as he tried to warm up. When he heard the teeth chattering, Loki allowed himself to relax just a smidgen. Walking around the room as he grabbed thick furs and blankets, bringing them back to pull over Bucky’s still cold skin. 

A few minutes later with the fire blazing and several torches lit to raise the temperature of the room, Bucky seemed to finally stop shivering. Loki kept them turned on, drawing the curtain closed on the sight of Asgard below him. Too soon, he kept thinking, this was all too soon. 

Pacing back and forth, he contemplated the consequences of keeping a Midgardian housed in Asgard. Loki had certainly done worse in the past from allowing the Frost Giants to invade during the Odin Sleep to having his own brother banished from Asgard for a short amount of time, smuggling a mortal into the realm would probably be the least of anyone’s concerns. Hell, he might even be congratulated for taking after Thor in finding a mortal to throw his affections at.   
Wait, affections? When had Bucky turned from being a distraction to a person he…? No. 

Loki pushed the thought aside when he heard the young man stirring on the bed. Bucky was starting to move around on the bed and trying to push the mountain of sheets and furs off his chest. The trickster came over, reaching up to draw back the worst of the covers. Kneeling down, the trickster slipped his arm behind Bucky’s back and gently helped him to sit-up in the bed. The soldier swayed, letting out a low groan as he slowly came back to himself. 

“Are you alright? Feeling warmer now?” Loki asked him. His voice oddly gentle as he supported Bucky, waiting for him to regain control of his faculties. Bucky took a few more minutes to come back to himself and for his eyesight to focus on the room around him. 

His first thought was that he was still trapped in his own mindscape and talking with Loki. He frowned when he realized the surroundings were different from the throne room he’d grown so used too. Also, the fact he was warm unlike the last few times. He no longer felt that deep seated chill in his bones, as if he couldn’t get warm. When he turned his head, he saw those piercing green eyes gazing at him intently. Bucky blinked, seeing Loki’s lips move but not fully comprehending him. He shook his head, a wave of dizziness coming over him again as he tried to maintain his sense of balance. It wasn’t until he felt the arm like a steel band behind his lower back supporting him and the way Loki rose to reach for a pillow on the other side of the bed Bucky began to realize this might be a case of reality and not him being in Loki’s mindscape. 

“Loki?” Bucky said, his voice rough from disuse. Ever since his stint with Hydra, he’d been slowly getting used to talking again. Those piercing eyes turned to focus on him again and Bucky felt his heart flutter at the sight. 

“Oh my god, you’re real?” Bucky said, stunned at the realization. He reached up and touched Loki’s cheek, shocked by the cool skin that gave underneath his fingers. The beautiful man’s brows furrowed at the touch, reaching up with slim fingers to grasp Bucky’s hand. Gently lowering it back to the bedsheet, but Bucky took his hand back and touched the trickster again. Digging his fingers into Loki’s shoulder as he felt for a pulse, feeling a shock when he felt flesh give away underneath his hand. 

“Yes, what made you think otherwise?” Loki snapped at him. His voice clear and crisp like Bucky remembered it, clearly irritated the soldier would even entertain the thought of him being a fake. 

“I just….I thought…”

“You thought a lot of things, Sergeant Barnes. Clearly you’re not back to your full mental capacity. I suggest you remain where you are before you hurt yourself,” Loki commanded him. 

The beautiful man – Bucky couldn’t think of anything else to call him – extracted himself from the soldier’s grip. Striding across the room to pick up a pitcher and pour something into a goblet. Loki came back a second later with both items, pressing the goblet into Bucky’s hand. 

“Drink,” the trickster demanded. Bucky obeyed, drinking the liquid in the goblet and swallowing thickly. His throat felt raw as if he’d been screaming for hours on end or hadn’t spoken for years. To his surprised the liquid was sweet and he frowned, peering into the cup before taking another drink. He drained it completely and Loki poured him another drink until the goblet was brimming. Bucky drained the goblet twice more before he slowed down, setting the cup aside to focus on Loki. 

“I…I just assumed you were…”

“I was what?”

“Someone I made up in my mind to deal with my loss. So I wouldn’t feel too lonely or guilty…” Bucky murmured. Loki frowned at the explanation, but he didn’t shrug off Bucky’s hand when he reached out to him again. He had not expected the soldier to be so haggard or worn out, on the contrary he’d expected someone like Steve Rogers. Bucky Barnes looked as if he’d been underground or on the street for years, the flesh of his left shoulder scarred and showing signs of trauma. Loki had taken note of the metal wires there and thought briefly he would have to find out the story behind that particular injury. 

“Let me tell you a truth, then, everyone is guilty of something. You can stand in a room full of people and be the loneliest man in the world,” Loki stated smoothly. He rose up, sitting on the edge of the bed beside Bucky as he crossed his arms. His eyes flicking over the human now sitting in front of him in person. Bucky was well built despite his injury, even if he was too thin to compensate for his muscle. When was the last time this human had eaten?

“You look like shit,” Loki said to him. Bucky raised his eyebrows, the shadow of a grin crossing his face for the first time since they’d met in person.   
“Yeah, well, you look about as neat as you do in my dreams.”

“I always look my best,” Loki huffed. He let Bucky paw at him again, feeling the soldier squeeze his shoulder and then his arm. The mortal didn’t seem to be able to get enough of him and the thought made Loki secretly smirk at the reaction. Few people were smitten with his appearance and Bucky seemed quite pleased the ‘dream’ had become a reality.   
“I don’t doubt it. You look posh, I just didn’t….so all this is real?”

“How many times are you going to come to that realization?”

“Well, I’m sorry, but not all of us is born a prince. Some of us are just a kid from Brooklyn and were lucky to have food on the table. Forgive me if I’m impressed by being in a mansion.”

“Correction, you’re in a palace. Second of all, yes, this is all real. You’re my honorary guest here, but I should let you know you’re not to reveal yourself to anyone without my explicit permission. Mortals are technically not allowed in Asgard,” Loki told him crisply. It was Bucky’s turn to look confused now as he studied the trickster.   
“How do you mean?”

“Well….I’m not precisely ‘liked’ here, so to speak. Your association with me could lead to problems for yourself and considering I just saved you from imminent death…well, I’m sure you want to recover your strength before you’re up and about again,” Loki told him as he stood up. He went over to another table and picked up some fruit, coming back over to offer it to Bucky. The soldier took it hesitantly, an apple of some sort resting in his hand.

“I know I’m not on Wakanda anymore, but where is Asgard?” Bucky asked curiously. Loki’s eyelids fluttered as he rolled his eyes, getting tired of the man’s line of questioning.   
“Hey, I just woke up from being frozen, okay? What’s your excuse?” Bucky shot at him. Loki only snorted to express his opinion on the matter. 

“Fair enough, Bucky. Asgard is an entirely different realm from Midgard, so no, you’re not in Wakanda anymore. You’re not even anywhere near your home realm at the moment,” Loki told him. To emphasize his point, Loki grabbed the curtain and pulled it back. 

Bucky ignored his earlier pains and got out of the bed, nearly falling over as his body tried to adjust to supporting him again. Loki caught him, but Bucky still staggered towards the balcony. Asgard lay out before him in all its glory, the rainbow bridge stretching out to the slowly rotating stars. He felt the sun on his skin as he stood, getting a grip on the railing as he leaned forward. Drinking in the sight of the city he’d only seen in Loki’s mind, absorbing all the details and seeing the ships going below him. 

“This….all of this is…”

“Yes.”

“And you live here?”

“I’m the king of it all.”

Loki had meant to put the words more eloquently, but he couldn’t help himself. The smugness in having finally secured the throne his father had denied him for so long an accomplishment he had been unable to share with anyone. When he opened his mouth to say more, Bucky turned and threw his arm around Loki’s shoulders. The trickster froze, surprised by the sudden closeness until he heard the sobbing. 

“Thank you,” Bucky sobbed. He kept repeating the two words over and over again, clinging to Loki like he was a lifeline. The trickster wanted to extract himself from the hold, he did, but having known Bucky for so long in his dreams and finally having him in person….it left an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. Loki patted the young man’s back, holding him loosely in his arms as the sunlight streamed in, lighting up the young man’s thick brown hair. 

“You’re welcome, but don’t celebrate too soon. We’re still-“

“I don’t care,” Bucky said. Shaking his head as he clung to the trickster, refusing to let him go. He looked up and started touching Loki’s face, reassuring himself the man was real. He tugged at the trickster’s clothes, touched his fingers, ran his hand through Loki’s hair, and tried to find anything that was fake. Loki withstood the touches with narrowed eyes, but they softened when he realized Bucky only meant to assure himself this was reality. They had not spoken of it, but Loki had sensed there was something direly wrong in the young man’s mind. Well, he suppose he could make an exception just this one time…

“You’re welcome,” Loki said quietly. Gently petting the broken man’s hair as he gazed out over Asgard. Musing over the situation he’d just gotten himself into with the young mortal.


	7. Captive

Loki soon came to a few realizations about Bucky he had not expected in the beginning.

One, Mr. Barnes was grateful for every small thing given to him from a drink to fine food. Loki, found it amusing when Bucky would sample a dish he’d brought, his face would light up, and then he’d look to the trickster. As if asking for silent permission to continue eating before consuming what was in front of him. Secondly, the soldier could not get enough of gazing out from the balcony at Asgard below. He’d heeded Loki’s words and never left the room, but with the way he stayed attached to his view of the kingdom the trickster doubted Bucky even took notice he was being held captive in the palace. 

While Bucky recovered, Loki considered his next move with the mortal. With Thor on Midgard and Odin tucked away in a small corner of the universe, the trickster mused over his good fortune. The fates had finally allowed for the situation to go his way and he couldn’t be more pleased. Asgard had begun to thrive underneath his ruling, the city was healing, and even the Warrior’s Three weren’t as unpleasant as they had been before. 

It wasn’t until about a fourth day into the soldier’s captivity that Bucky started to speak up more. Other than that, first day where the soldier had cried into his chest, the brunette had said little to Loki. He was pleasant enough, thanking his magic using friend for a meal or bringing him a book to look over to pass the time when he grew tired of looking out at the balcony. Loki even brought coloring utensils and parchment to help Bucky occupy his time and these seemed to please him more than any other instrument. They rarely had their conversations though and the trickster had to admit he missed them. They had been a welcome distraction, especially since Bucky had not finished their ‘game’.

“Hey, Loki?” Bucky said one evening. Loki usually joined the soldier for the morning and evening meals. There had hardly been a cause for them to exchange words in earnest like they had in the beginning. Loki chalked it up to the mortal needing to adjust to his new surroundings and waited patiently. Often making sure his presence was none to the young man until he chose to spoke up. 

“Yes?” Loki asked. They were dining on sweet meats and steamed vegetables, Loki picking delicately at his food. Bucky had already started to eat his with gusto, consuming everything on his plate with relish. Loki often let Bucky have his portion too if there were any left, amused at how the soldier devoured everything in sight. Not to mention Bucky still needed to gain weight too, so it made sense for him to have a large appetite. 

“Are we….is this heaven?” Bucky asked him. Loki had lifted a slice of meat to his mouth and it hovered right by his lips. He had to repeat the question to himself a few times to understand its context before lowering it to gaze at the human. 

“Why would you ask such a thing?” Loki asked him. He honestly didn’t know if he should be insulted or amused by the soldier’s assumption.   
“The rainbow bridge and how everything is Asgard is golden. You saving me from those nightmares on Earth…” Bucky trailed off. He stopped eating his food to wave his hand at the chambers he hadn’t left ever since his arrival. 

“The posh surroundings, the delicious food, and not to mention you’ve been nothing but patient since I’ve arrived. I’m positive this is heaven.”

“I suppose to you it is, but I assure you it’s not. We’re in Asgard, my name is Loki Laufeyson and we’re both quite alive and thriving, I assure you,” Loki said. He couldn’t believe he had to repeat this to the soldier in the first place. Heaven? Ridiculous, but then again he couldn’t bring himself to chide Bucky for his assumption. 

“I…oh. I just didn’t believe a place as beautiful as this existed. I used to read sci-fi novels when I was younger,” Bucky explained. Going back to eating his food with relish, savoring every bite. He’d barely finished his plate when Loki handed his over, the brunette smiled at the trickster in quiet thanks before he went back to eating. 

“Sci-fi?”

“Fiction grounded in reality, basically, talking about technology that might exist one day. I used to love reading it,” Bucky said with a sigh. 

“Steve preferred the fantasy novels and war stories, but I always liked the idea of going to Mars. Traveling to other planets and meeting their inhabitants, discovering new technologies and learning we’re not alone. Well, I guess we’re not, because if Asgard is a real place- “

“Which it is.”

“-then that means we’re not alone. I didn’t expect aliens to look so…well, like normal humans,” Bucky explained. Loki blinked slowly at him, absorbing this new revelation from the soldier. He almost felt like he should be insulted, but such honest observations were hardly something he wanted to dissuade. 

“Different realms and exist, and while humans and Asgardians may look alike in appearance, they’re hardly the same. The same applies to other realms, not every sentient being you come across is going to have the exact characteristics you’re used to,” Loki explained crisply. 

Another side of Bucky he’d come to enjoy was the rapt audience the soldier provided, often hanging off every word Loki sought to share with him. The attention he found refreshing since he rarely had a chance to enjoy such rare occurrences growing up. Perhaps his mother could have matched the way Loki felt appreciated when he talked, but with her gone he’d felt empty ever since her passing. Even Thor had seemed to turn colder, his usual trust in his long foregone younger brother and odd hurt Loki had come to accept in his unending battle to dominate Asgard.

Bucky though…well, Loki felt he could give the soldier some allowances. Being mortal and all, Bucky didn’t consider for an instant the person he was talking too had nothing but his best interests at heart. He had no idea the trump card Loki held over him and the man known as Captain America, nor did he think to question the trickster’s intentions. Bucky just calmly accepted everything as it came to him and went along with it as if it were nothing. 

“Have you visited other realms? Other than Midgard, I’m guessing?” Bucky asked. Loki sipped his wine, considering the question before he answered. 

“I’m well-traveled, yes. There is the realm of Jotunheim which is filled with frost giants. Jotunheim has begun to fall in favor though since many of its inhabitants were killed off in a great war long ago. They do not hold the strength they once did,” Loki said easily. Bucky nodded quietly, his eyes glittering at learning the new words. 

“Frost giants?”  
“That sound like something from one of your ‘sci-fi’ novels?” Loki asked crisply. His question was rewarded with a warm smile from Bucky who maintained his good mood as he continued to eat Loki’s unfinished food. 

“Maybe. What other places have you been?”

“Oh, many places. I’ve stepped into dark realms with beings who would see all life in the universe die. Visited places where creatures of the rock and earth fight in battle and even briefly worked with a group of people called Chitahuri. Not one of the best choices I’ve ever made, to be sure, they tricked me into working for them,” Loki explained. Bucky’s eyes widened at that and the trickster couldn’t help but feel a lick of pleasure at the mortal’s wonderment. 

“You did? You RAN an army?”

“Of sorts, yes. I was not in full control of my faculties when I…well, let us just say I’m not nearly as perfect as you view me to be,” Loki said with a chuckle. He enjoyed the human’s attentions and told him more of his travels. Detailing some of the battles he’d been in during his time away from Asgard. Bucky hung on every word, stopping to ask questions as he eagerly peppered Loki for more details or praised an action the trickster had taken. 

Loki could not name the last time someone had hung on his every word or insisted on hearing him speak. Bucky’s eagerness amused him and soothed his ego, boosting it to the point he almost shared more minute details with the soldier. Only holding back because if he were to reveal too much, the human might catch on to his captivity. Not that the soldier seemed to be unsatisfied with his current situation, on the contrary he seemed pleased with his new lot in life. 

“Whoever said you were perfect? I didn’t, if you were, you’d be boring,” Bucky snorted. He finished Loki’s food and went back to drinking the sweet wine the trickster had poured for him. He didn’t say it, but he felt immense relief at being close to this stranger. He could hardly believe Loki was even real, often reaching out to touch the trickster’s shoulder and to squeeze his arm. Loki would glance over at him with a small frown twitching at the corners of his mouth, but he tolerated the touches. 

“I don’t amuse you?” Loki asked airily. Bucky grinned behind his goblet, continuing to drink the wine. He didn’t know how strong it was, but it sent a pleasant buzzing throughout his mind. He enjoyed it immensely and promised himself one of these days he’d get roaring drunk and just forget about the nightmares that plagued his dreams. 

“Depends on the type of ‘amusing’ you’re talking about. Like the floating boat? Diving down so steeply?” Bucky stated with raised eyebrows. “I’d enjoy doing that again when we get the chance too.”

“You liked that, did you?”

“Yeah, when I wasn’t scared half to death we’d go crashing into the water or smashing into another boat. It was fun,” Bucky admitted. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had fun like that, like riding a roller coaster and the building anticipation of the drop. The thought made Bucky smile as he remembered their wild ride, but Loki didn’t seem too happy with the suggestion. 

“I’m not sure if we’ll be able to do that. It’s unsightly for a king to go zipping around causing terror to his people.”

“You hardly seemed to mind when we were doing it.”

“That was in our mindscape, Bucky. Not in real life,” Loki huffed. Bucky caught the ‘our’ from his friend, but he didn’t mention the slip-up. Well, he supposed the raven-haired man had be right in that regard. Their mindscapes had become familiar with the other one being there, but they haven’t visited each other’s minds since Bucky had woken up.   
“You’re a king, Lokes. I’m sure you could get away with murder if you wanted too. Just decree you can do as you please and no one can say otherwise,” Bucky said with a grin. Loki rolled his eyes at the man’s suggestion, causing the soldier to laugh. 

“Impossible, is what you are. You would see me dishonored among my people and lose my throne, would you?”

“Maybe,” Bucky said with a shrug. Loki only shook his head, pouring Bucky more wine when he set his goblet down. The soldier thanked him with a nod before bringing it to his lips again. 

“What’s it like, being king?” Bucky asked curiously. Loki quirked an eyebrow at him for the question, but decided to humor his audience of one. 

“Boring most days. I’ll listen to my advisers, sometimes meet with diplomats, and other days it’s dealing with the resources or lack thereof in the kingdom. Trade agreements, treaties, and sometimes riding out to villages to wave and make appearance. Hardly exciting fare for a retired warrior such as yourself,” Loki said with a wave of his hand. Bucky paused to stare at him for a minute at the praise, but didn’t comment on it. 

“Who was the king before you? Your father, I’m guessing?” Bucky asked him. Loki’s expression darkened at the words and if he hadn’t known Bucky half as well as he did, he would have stricken the mortal down. 

“He is no father of mine,” Loki hissed. Displeased with the question, he rose from where he’d been sitting to walk away from the brunette. It was petty, but he intended for Bucky to be forced to pour his own wine instead of doing it for him. Why had he even bothered?! He was no cupbearer and yet here he was, pouring wine for a mortal!

“Loki, I’m sorry. I only meant what king was he before you took over?” Bucky stated. Re-wording his question to get his point across. He didn’t like the stormy look that came over Loki’s face, figuring there was no doubt bad blood between the two. Silently cursing himself for having worded it in such a way when he’d KNOWN Loki’s father had denounced him. But wait…if he’d denounced his own son, how in the world was his friend king?

“Gone,” Loki stated simply. He didn’t allow his friend’s words to soothe his nerves, but he did allow for them to flow over him. Bucky was not one of the Warrior’s Three or even his brother, he was a simple mortal who had no idea of the goings on in Asgard. 

“What of your patronage?” Loki asked. Bucky didn’t question the turn in conversation and only shrugged, continuing to drink his wine. 

“I have no idea. My folks were long gone when I met Steve, mom passed away and I never bothered trying to connect with my old man. I know I had a sister but she…. well, we never met-up or got along well,” Bucky admitted. 

“You have no family?”

“If by ‘family’ you mean people I care about, Steve and you. No one else, there was a woman with red hair I cared about a long time ago. I can’t remember her face though or even her name,” Bucky said with a shake of his head. 

“Her too, I guess, but I have no idea if she even liked me or remembers me. Who knows, maybe I was just another shmuck on her radar there to teach her how to kill people better,” Bucky said with a thin smile. He saw Loki had frozen, his shoulders stiff at those words. The trickster still refused to look at him directly and the soldier had to wonder if he’d said something else to piss him off. 

“You…care for me?” Loki asked as he turned to give the mortal a puzzled expression. Bucky frowned at the question, shrugging his shoulders as he took another sip of wine.   
“Yeah, don’t act so surprised. You’re a decent bloke, just…sometimes I don’t know how you feel.”

“How do you mean?”

“I know it’s not directed at me, but whenever I talk to you I get this impression you’re angry all the time. You’re just furious at someone or something and you’re just waiting to tear them apart,” Bucky explained simply. 

“I worry about you, you know that, right?” Bucky asked Loki. The raven-haired man said nothing, his expression unreadable at the question. 

“Loki?”

“I must take my leave of you, Bucky. I’m afraid I have court business to attend too,” Loki said stiffly. Bucky opened his mouth to say something else, but in an instant Loki had walked to the door and taken his exit. The brunette sighed, shaking his head as he sipped his wine again. 

He didn’t voice it aloud, but he knew Loki was keeping him captive. Whether it was because ‘mortals’ weren’t allowed in Asgard for some other reason, he hadn’t been told yet or found out on his own. Honestly, with everything he’d been through Bucky hardly minded being kept as a captive guest by the trickster. He just wished the other would be more honest with him or at least tell him the precise reason for him being taken to Asgard. 

Bucky stood up stiffly, taking his goblet of wine with him to go gaze out over the balcony again. He doubted he would ever get tired of this view, gazing out over the kingdom his friend owned. Still, not being allowed to bring a mortal in Asgard? Bucky knew there had to be more to it than that, but now he was content to continue playing the game his friend had set forth. 

Bucky drank the rest of the wine until the room began to feel as if it moved beneath his feet and he started to feel tired. He laid down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as he blinked languidly. He hoped Stevie would be okay with him disappearing so rapidly, everything had been a blur when it had taken place. He still felt woozy even with the decent rest, food, and wine Loki plied him with. He hoped his friend hadn’t given Steve too much of a shock when he’d brought him to Asgard. 

Rolling over, Bucky drifted off to sleep after half an hour of staring at the ceiling. The strong wine soothed his frayed nerves and helped to lure him into a false sense of being tired. Once he drifted off Bucky felt his entire body lingering and suddenly he slammed back down into a mindscape. He looked around and noticed he was once again in Loki’s mind again, recognizing the throne room of Asgard. Sitting upon the throne was Loki, as usual, and Bucky noticed him talking to a group of four people. 

Bucky walked up, wondering what kind of trick or memory he was seeing from the trickster. He grinned at the way Loki sat upon the throne, one leg thrown over an arm and a large spear held limply in his other hand. He continued to talk to the people, three men and a woman who seemed urgent to trade words with the trickster. Bucky waited patiently until they turned and left, his good manners getting the better of him. He walked up and sat on the arm of the throne where Loki’s leg was, reaching down to move his friend’s leg. Loki jumped about a foot in the air and Bucky couldn’t help but cackle at the expression of astonishment on his friend’s face. 

“Are kings supposed to sit like that?” Bucky teased him. Loki turned and it seemed as if the trickster hadn’t known his friend to be there. Loki scowled at him, taking his leg down and sitting up straighter to assume a kinglier position. 

“What are you doing here?!” Loki hissed at him. 

“I’m visiting you.”

“Aren’t you asleep!”

“Yes, aren’t you?”

“NO!”

“Oh, well…hi then. Holding court?” Bucky asked. He wondered Loki was the only one who could see him and turned to look down at the courtiers. He walked back down the steps, ignoring the hissing of his friend as he swiped at one of the people. His hand passed through them, but he saw a shiver go over their shoulders. The brunette grinned at that and did it again, hearing the trickster hiss from the throne at him to stop. 

“Oh…when did it become so cold?” The guard whispered to his companion. Bucky quirked an eyebrow, turning around to beam at Loki as he came back to him.   
“How are you projecting yourself here?!” Loki growled at him. He expected the soldier to enter his mindscape without any trouble, but to project himself only for the trickster to see when he was wide awake? 

“I don’t know. I thought you were sleeping,” Bucky answered unhelpfully. Loki sighed, irritated as he shifted again and held the spear in his hand straighter. Right now, he was projecting an image of Odin sitting upon the throne looking regal, but Bucky had specifically mentioned the way he’d seen his friend sitting. This meant the soldier had not been fooled by his illusion and instead was directly gazing past all the magics Loki used to disguise himself. 

“I’m wide awake, thank you. And you should wake-up! I’m holding court and you’re distracting me!”

“I just went to sleep! I’m not waking up,” Bucky argued back. Loki grit his teeth, glaring at the brunette and looking down at the court. No one could hear him talking to the open air, but seeing his friend standing out in broad daylight was unnerving. He also felt disturbed at the fact Bucky had could interact with one of his subjects, which didn’t add up considering the man was a damn mortal. 

“You hardly look busy,” Bucky commented. If the brunette had been solid, Loki would have smacked him with his spear. 

“I…Bucky, what do you want?” Loki asked him sourly. The soldier only raised his eyebrows at him and gazed back down at the court again. 

“Nothing, I just thought I was dreaming again. Or we both were, I guess you could say,” Bucky admitted. He leaned back on the arm of the throne, gazing down at his friend again.

“Hard to see you as king.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You’re just so young. And you don’t strike me as the type of guy who sits around trying to prevent trouble. You seem more like the type who wants to be in the middle of it,” Bucky pointed out. Loki snorted, giving his friend a wink as he relaxed into his throne. Well, he did sit there all day with nothing to do most days and not every situation brought to him could be as exciting as the crops not growing in fertile soil several hundred miles outside of Asgard. 

“I try to avoid getting into trouble most days, but with you around I predict that will be noticeably harder. Why? Are you growing bored being in your room all day?”

“Kinda, yeah. I can’t decide if you’re keeping me there for my own safety or as your captive,” Bucky told him. His old self would have tried to dance around the issue, but with how tricky his friend could be he felt it better just to be straight forward about the matter. Loki pressed his lips together in a thin line, not liking the line of conversation. 

“What do you think?”

“I think you’re keeping me captive, but you won’t tell me why,” Bucky answered. “If you are, I’m not angry. The situation I’m in now is ten times better than what I had on Midgard, but if that is the case you’re going to have to be more forward about it. Is it going to be more of a ‘you’re confined to one room for life’ kind of deal or a ‘take Bucky out for walks every blue moon’ kind of arrangement?” Bucky asked him. 

“Would you cooperate for either one?”

“Yeah, provided you keep treating me decently. I figured this can work out fine between us, but I have one caveat.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t ever lie to me. I’ve dealt with that enough, and I like you Lokes, a lot. I care about you, but you need to be upfront with me. No illusions or twisting your words around, just tell it to me straight. I believe we’ve known each other long enough for you grant me at least one request,” Bucky told him. 

Loki mulled over the conditions of Bucky’s confinement, considering the options laid out before him. Bucky at least had been straightforward with his observations, not something Loki would have expected from another person. Though he did have to agree, compared to what the soldier had been before he must think he’d been gifted the best fate from the Norns for his current situation. The thought of making certain arrangements to his friend’s confinement though bothered him on multiple levels when it shouldn’t. Loki’s original plan had been to keep the mortal confined, but talking to him now and seeing the life returning to his eyes and the way he interacted with him must…he couldn’t imagine putting the human back under again. 

Gosh dammit.

Loki pushed his hair back, closing his eyes as he tried to get his thoughts together. When had kidnapping a mortal become so complicated? He’d stolen Hawkeye and he didn’t have nearly as much trouble controlling him as he did with Bucky. Then again, he’d had Hawkeye under his control so it had been slightly better…

“…I apologize for keeping you captive, but the situation here is delicate. Your captivity thus far is more for your own safety and recovery than anything else,” Loki said with a deep frown. 

“I know you’re bored, but be patient with me. I must plan if you’re going to be walking around on your own. No one here knows you which works in our favor, but I do request you wait before you go venturing into Asgard. You will see more of it, I guarantee it, but right now you need rest,” Loki told him. Bucky nodded solemnly, feeling the tension in his shoulders starting to ease at those words. 

“You promise?”

“I give you my word, you will walk as a free man in my court.”

“I hope you mean the actual kingdom and not just your courtyard.”

“Ah, that’s the spirit! You’re learning,” Loki said with a sly grin. Bucky snorted, looking down over the court from Loki’s vantage point. 

“I think I’ll monitor you, your majesty. Treachery may be afoot in your court!” Bucky announced. Loki rolled his eyes, ignoring Bucky trying to get him to play along as he turned towards the next person who came to talk to the ‘All-Father’.


	8. Veor

“Veor?”  
“Yes, it’s a name after Thor.”  
“But…VEOR?! Loki!”  
“You asked for a simple and uncomplicated name and I gave you one! Or do you wish to be prancing around as a hand maiden?” Loki snapped at the soldier. He’d spent the last three days making subtle arrangements and having conversations with a few chosen people about ‘Veor’ coming to court. It had been delicate work, but once he’d set the foundations down of Bucky’s new identity in Asgard he’d been pleased with himself. 

“No,” Bucky said with a frown. He was gazing at himself in the mirror, feeling uncomfortable with the new clothes Loki had made for him. The trickster did not tell him who had made the clothes, but Loki had simply taken his measurements and left. Coming back a day later with a new wardrobe and belongings for his friend.   
“Why can’t it just be a series of illusions?”

“Because you have no possessions to call your own. I am many things, Bucky Barnes, but a poor man is not one them. Neither will you be, so deal with it. Or do you wish to walk around naked?” Loki chided him. Bucky smirked at that and Loki smacked him on the back of the head, causing the soldier to laugh.  
“I mean, I could, but that would be indicating intimate activities with questionable relations.”  
“Well, this questionable relation needs you to pivot to the left. You’re other left! BUCKY!”  
“I AM! But you keep fucking stabbing me, so pardon me if I flinch!” Bucky snapped at him. 

Loki and Bucky had debated over what to do about his shoulder and the lack of him missing his left arm. It bothered Bucky, but he had told Loki it had been fine. The trickster had offered to go to the dwarves at first, but after some thought the soldier had told him no. He wanted to incorporate that feature of his into his new identity in Asgard. Why not have a defining feature that would make him easily recognizable? After some thought Loki had agreed and even mentioned it would work in Bucky’s favor. He’d dealt with the wires sticking out of the leftover metal and after some spell work had managed to seal it off. 

The trickster on the other hand had come up with a brilliant way to highlight Bucky’s left shoulder and make him regal. He’d had several shoulder guards made that were highly stylized with runes carved deep into the stiffened leather. The idea was the shoulder guard to clip to Bucky’s left stump, covering the area with a draped cape that extended from the shoulder area to Bucky’s right shoulder. Thus, when he turned, the cape would turn effortlessly with him, but still hide the affected area. Loki loved it, but trying to get Bucky to hold still long enough to get it fitted on was proving to be a nightmare.

“I will pardon you, by cutting your head off if you don’t hold still. There, see? You look every inch the Asgardian warrior,” Loki stated proudly.   
Cleaning Bucky up had been a bit of a project, but even he had to admit the soldier looked good. He’d had Bucky shave, brushed his hair and washed it until it was shining, and then tied it back with a leather cord. Dressed in earthy tones with hints of black with a sword strapped to his left hip, Bucky looked every inch the regal warrior. Loki had to rub the new clothes in dirt and put a little wear and tear on them, but the results were stunning. Bucky looked as if he’d been on the road for a several weeks which had been the intention. 

“What do you think?” Loki asked him. Bucky studied his reflection, barely recognizing the person staring back at him. The sword felt awkward on his hip, he was used to a gun or a sniper rifle being held in his hand. On the other hand, he only HAD one hand and not another one to spare to hold a bow and arrow. Not that he knew how to shoot one anyway, but he had no idea how to use a sword either. Loki had also gifted him a set of daggers and knives, one Loki assured him was for skinning and the other Bucky was to store on the inside of his clothes. Just in case someone tried to take him unawares and he could stab them. 

“I…. I like it,” Bucky admitted. The clothes complimented his naturally thin frame and he could easily believe he wasn’t Bucky Barnes anymore. He was Veor, a young warrior who had proven himself in battle. Due to his bravery, he’d been granted the honor of residing within Asgard as one of the palace guards. Loki assured him the title was honorary more than anything, so Bucky wouldn’t be required to perform any feats of his own. 

“You may be requested to go out to villages and mitigate there, but that is up to you,” Loki told him. “If you have a problem come to me and I’ll deal with it for you.”  
“Thank you,” Bucky said to him. Loki had also had a hell of a time dealing with his friend’s lack of knowledge when it came to horse riding. Dragging Bucky into his mindscape and giving him a crash course on how to ride a horse had helped. They both decided to explain it away as him being used to traveling on foot instead of horseback, which would go well with him missing an arm too. And thus, why he was so unused to riding a horse since he’d never seen a need too until the change in his life. 

“Now, do you remember what you must do?” Loki asked as he adjusted Bucky’s cloak again. 

“I’m to ride my horse up to the front gates and hand them my papers. Announce myself and request passage to the palace. I kneel before you, you say something or other about how amazing I am, and then I go to my rooms,” Bucky stated. 

“You waited to be ESCORTED to your rooms, dolt,” Loki chided him. “Your stuff was sent for ahead of time so you’ll ‘receive’ it within a day or two,” Loki told him. 

“You can’t just go waltzing around the palace like you own the place.”

“No, but you do. And I can waltz around while I’m asleep.”  
“Shut up and come over here so I can walk you outside the gates. And for the love of Odin, do NOT leave the road!” Loki snapped at him. Bucky just grinned at him as Loki grabbed his hand and teleported them. They didn’t have far to walk in any real sense, but Loki had been imperative they make this look authentic. Their plan involved Bucky riding up to the gate, presenting his papers, and then making his way to the palace. 

“I’ll avoid riding off into the sunset,” Bucky assured him. Loki scowled, but he relented and led Bucky to the horse he would be riding. Loki had chosen a great black stallion with a white mark on its face. He made Bucky get up in the saddle on his own and the soldier did, albeit with a little bit of struggling. Sitting atop of the animal, Bucky felt strange and looked down at his friend. He grinned at Loki for being able to get up on his own, but the trickster only scowled at him. 

“And try to be more serious. You’re a soldier returning from war!”

“I’m a soldier who likes to have a good time.”  
“You and several others do, apparently. Alright, I’m going to teleport you about half a day’s ride from Asgard. It rained last night, so if someone comes across your tracks they won’t question why they aren’t further back. Just keep following the road and- “

“And when I come to a great white rock turn right at the fork in the road and keep going straight. And after that don’t stop for anything, not even Ragnarok until I reach the gates of Asgard. I know, Lokes, I know. I’ll come straight back, I promise,” Bucky told him. 

“If I have any problems I know how to reach you, it’s not like distance is even a factor, right?” Bucky asked him. Loki pressed his lips together, but he conceded with a small nod. 

“Yes, now, be careful. And I’ll see you in a bit,” Loki promised him. He touched the horse and teleported Bucky and his mount several miles back. 

When he appeared in the middle of an open field, Bucky couldn’t help but feel out of place. It had been forever since he’d had his freedom and he found it made him unsure. When he looked down he saw the remains of a camp and at first wondered who was about. Only to realize Loki must have had something to do with it and preplanned every small detail to make the appearance of ‘Veor’ look authentic as possible. 

Shaking his head at all the work going into doing this, Bucky tugged on the reins and cantered out of the field towards the main road. Damn, if Stevie could see him now, he would have stated Bucky looked like one of the warriors from his fantasy novels. Riding to meet the king of a distant land after proving his glory in battle to be honored for his bravery. Shit, it DID sound like the opening of a fantasy novel. Not a bad one, per say, but still decent…

Bucky kept riding, feeling awkward atop the horse. He kept thinking of the Winter Soldier and how this was so far out of his realm of experience. Shit, maybe he’d fallen off the deep end and this was all still a dream? After all, traveling to an entirely new realm and befriending the king? How the world did something like that even happen? How did he end up-?

Bucky didn’t have a chance to pursue the line of thought any longer as something low to the ground streaked across the road only inches in front of his horse. A second later Bucky’s horse reared up, neighing as it kicked its hooves out. The soldier got a death grip on the reins, hollering as the horse panicked. Four figures burst through on their own mounts, nearly crashing into Bucky and his panicking mount as they pursued their quarry. 

“Whoa there! Whoa, what are you about, lad? Get control of your beast!” A man with a large belly and great red beard hollered at him. Bucky barely heard him, already thinking of Loki cursing him out for messing up when he hadn’t even been in his new identity for ten minutes. 

“I can’t! She won’t calm down!” Bucky yelled back at the man. He hardly seemed to be of any help as the horse spun. When it started to lower its head, Bucky yanked on the reins again, trying to get her under control. 

“Here, let me aide you,” another man stated. He turned his horse so he was riding up flush beside Bucky and reached over, grabbing the harness of the horse. Keeping her head up so she couldn’t bend it down and start bucking. The horse’s nostrils were flaring at her eyes were rolling, but otherwise she seemed unhurt. Bucky let out a breath, glancing at his savior who was gazing at him curiously. The man had a shock of blond hair and wide handlebar mustache that twitched underneath his nose. Bucky would have laughed if he hadn’t realized he’d seen this man only a week ago. He’d been one of the four in Loki’s throne room Bucky had seen that first day, but ever until this moment he’d never met him again. 

“Thank you, sorry for the trouble,” Bucky apologized. The man’s eyes only twinkled as he turned the horse’s head around, bringing it forward so it wouldn’t bolt. Now the soldier had a view of the others, the red-haired man from before, another one who looked Asian, and the woman with the black hair. She and the Asian man didn’t look to have friendly gazes and Bucky wondered if he’d already insulted them. 

“It’s no trouble at all, stranger. Our hunt seemed to have startled your horse, we did not even know another would be traveling on the road today,” the man explained. The man with the great red beard sighed, gazing longingly in the direction their prey item had fled. 

“I doubt we can catch up to it now. It’s long gone, probably fled back to its home and well-hidden no doubt. We will have no fresh boar tonight, I’m afraid,” the man stated. The blond male clucked his tongue, keeping a hold of the harness for Bucky’s horse. He didn’t say it aloud, but he wasn’t tempted to make the man let go either. 

“Volstagg, where are your manners! This young man was almost thrown off his horse because of our carelessness! Sir, I am once again terribly sorry. Perhaps we can repay you for the trouble?” The blond man stated. The woman rode up to get a closer look at this new stranger and frowned at him. 

“Why are you even riding? You should have both hands on the reins, not one. Are you daft?” She snapped at Bucky. 

“I would normally agree with you and I would, but I only have the one so…” Bucky said. Deliberately shrugging his left shoulder so he got the point across about his predicament. The woman’s eyes flicked down to the embossed shoulder guard and her expression softened just a bit, just in the eyes. The blond male turned his head and seemed to realize the situation to, coughing as he let go of the horse’s harness. 

“Oh, my apologies, stranger. I did not realize- “

“It’s fine, really. I will hold no grudge for being startled,” Bucky said as he grinned at them. Learning how to ‘talk’ like an Asgardian had felt like something out of a bad Shakespearean play too when Loki had been working with him.   
“Ah, none taken. Well, I am Lady Sif. And these are the Warrior’s Three, Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun. Whom might you be so we can invite you to break bread with us for the trouble we have caused you?” Sif asked him. Bucky felt his heart skip a beat as he forgot his own name for a minute before he found his tongue to answer. 

“Veor is my name, Lady Sif. I ride from the village of Akureyri in the south towards Asgard,” Bucky explained. She nodded, but Bucky doubted she was interested in the reason. Fandral nodded and Volstagg seemed the more friendly and open of the lot than anyone else. 

“Veor? That name is familiar, mayhap we have met before?” Volstagg asked curiously. 

“I do not believe so. I have been told my name was one invented by Thor himself, so perhaps that is where the familiarity lies?” Bucky asked. Gosh dammit, all these long and drawn out words and names were making his head spin. 

“Ah, yes! Funny you say that, we are close friends of the Mighty Thor,” Volstagg stated. He grinned at Bucky and seemed so pleased with himself the solider couldn’t help but grin back. 

“What a coincidence,” Bucky stated. 

“Yes…it certainly is. Well, Veor of the village of Akureyri, do you wish to ride with us back to Asgard?” Sif asked him. The way she said it didn’t sound like a request, but like an order. Bucky only shrugged again, showing he didn’t care either way as he turned his horse to pull abreast of Volstagg. The man positively beamed at him and Bucky found himself grinning back, enjoying the jovial mood from the other one. It had been a long time since anyone had greeted him so warmly and Volstagg’s smiles were contagious.   
“It’d be a pleasure, I wouldn’t mind some good company,” Bucky said. He meant it this time, finding he craved human interaction beyond just talking to Loki. He adored Loki above anything else, but it had been decades since he’d had a normal conversation. His trickster provided good company, but there were times Loki would get into a mood and would refuse to speak to Bucky beyond one word replies. 

“Excellent! Perhaps we will come across another boar while we travel together. What luck, to meet a new companion,” Volstagg stated. Bucky awkwardly steered his mount to fall in line with Volsagg, grinning at the jovial man as they set out. Sif rode on Bucky’s other side while Fandral and Hogun took up the rear, apparently deciding they didn’t want to participate in the conversation. 

“How long have you been on the road?” Sif asked him. Her sharp eyes reminded Bucky strongly of Natasha and the thought of the two women facing off against each other made him smile at her. Sif gave him an unamused glare which just made him chuckle.  
“What is so funny, Veor? Did I do something that amused you?”  
“No, I’m sorry, you remind me of another woman I know back home.”  
“Is that so? Whom may this maiden be?” Fandral asked from behind them.

“She’s no maiden. She’s ah…well, she’d kill you if you crossed her,” Bucky said as he thought of Natasha. He’d liked her, not romantically, but something about her had drawn him in. She’d been so willing to be on his side, but they hardly had a chance to talk before he’d gone under. Hm, maybe he should thank her whenever he saw her again?  
“She’s tough as nails and twice as terrifying…but she’s earned my respect. I envy any man who thinks she’s nothing more than a pretty face,” Bucky explained.   
“You don’t think I’m pretty?” Sif asked him. 

“No, I think I’m prettier,” Bucky answered before he could think of a reply. He saw Fandral’s eyes widen at the quick reply and for a moment Bucky swore Sif looked as if she was going to smack him. Only for a grin to split across her face as she laughed, reaching over to squeeze Bucky’s shoulder. 

“I shall have to take your word for it then. You’re a bold one, Veor, I’ll give you that. Few men I’ve met are as brave as you to say that directly to my face,” Sif teased him. Volstagg eyes were just as wide as Fandral’s at the exchange but the soldier could only grin. A blush creeping across his cheeks at this beautiful woman complimenting him.   
“I know better than anyone to judge someone by their appearances. That is what I meant, I did not mean to insult you. I was trying to pay you a compliment, Lady Sif.”  
“Ah, I see. Well then, Veor, I accept your compliment and applaud you for being so direct. There are few men I tolerate and you’re riding with them. Even then they displease me,” Sif stated. Bucky’s grin widened as Volstagg and Fandral protested their innocence and levels of tolerance. He blushed a bit, flattered a strong woman like Sif would notice him. It was nice, he thought, to be part of a group like this. They reminded him of the comradery he’d had with Steve and the Howling Commandos back when they used to do missions together. Those had been good days, Bucky thought wistfully, and his mood lightened just a bit. He liked being reminded of the good times before he’d been captured by Hydra. They were more pleasant than the nightmares his dreams were often plagued with. 

Bucky rode with the Warrior’s Three up to the gate and presented his travel papers to the guard. While he waited for them to confirm his status, Sif shared some sweet bread she’d brought along for the hunt. Bucky snacked on it, liking it immensely and eating a larger portion when Sif offered him her half with an air of amusement. 

“You have a healthy appetite,” Sif teased him. “Oh, um…still getting used to eating good food,” Bucky explained. It was true, even during his time in Budapest he’d had to make do with whatever food he could afford. While he didn’t starve, the meals he ate were less than ideal since he lacked cooking skills.   
“We’ll have to fix that. You should come up to the palace! We’ll have a grand feast celebrating our new friendship,” Volstagg bellowed.   
“Volstagg, they have a feast EVERY night. They don’t necessarily need a reason to host one, let alone for such a mundane reason. No offense to our new companion, of course,” Fandral stated. Bucky only shrugged, not caring in the slightest as the guard came back to him and handed him his papers. 

“Lord Veor, thank you for your patience. Please proceed to the palace,” the guard said with a deep reverent bow. Sif’s eyebrows went up as did Fandral’s and Volstagg’s, even Hogun seemed to come out of his silent reverie to say something in another language to one of his friends. 

“I did not know we rode in the presence of a lord. Why did you not say something, Veor?” Volstagg asked. Riding up to go on Bucky’s left while Sif fell back since the roads were growing narrower as they headed down the road towards the palace. 

“I…oh, I wasn’t aware of it. It might have something to do with showing bravery during a battle,” Bucky said awkwardly. Loki had not told him his new identity held the status of a lord and that threw him for a loop. Fandral clucked his tongue and came up on Bucky’s other side, ignoring the tight space. 

“May I see your papers?” Fandral asked him. Bucky withdrew them from his belt and handed them over, his hand going back to the reins quickly. Not wanting to be thrown from his saddle in case the horse was startled again. 

“Says here you’re being honored for your bravery and sacrifice on the battlefield. Due to your loyalty to Asgard you’re to be raised to the status of lord and be allowed to reside in the palace until such a time you decide on a permanent residence. Impressive,” Fandral said looking at Bucky with new admiration. 

“You didn’t read this before it was handed to you?” Fandral asked in surprise.   
“No, I was just told they were travel papers I needed to show at the gate. I assumed I would be staying in an inn,” Bucky stated. His face flushing as Fandral rolled the papers up carefully and handed them back to him. Bucky thanked him and tucked them away, feeling eyes on the back of his head from Sif. 

“Impressive, not every day we get to meet a Lord, especially not one named after Thor,” Volstagg said. He too seemed oddly pleased by Bucky’s status, but the soldier only shrugged his shoulder. 

“Doesn’t make any difference to me.”

“Why would you say that?” Volstagg scoffed.   
“Because I still lost an arm because of it. And good friends, how is a title going to make that better?” Bucky asked him. His tone became harsher than he meant it too and the big man’s grin went away. Bucky immediately regretted it when Volstagg broke eye contact to look straight ahead. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean- “  
“No, it’s alright, lad. You’re young, I understand,” Volstagg said sincerely. He still didn’t look at Bucky, but he didn’t seem angry. If anything, he seemed defeated, gazing at the rainbow bridge glittering in the afternoon sunlight.   
“Losing one’s comrades is never easy. We say they die gloriously, but at the end of the day we see them alive instead. All we can do is go on living and honor their memory every day, until we meet them one day in Valhalla,” Volstagg said. Turning his head to glance at Bucky again and giving him a small smile. Bucky nodded, feeling the big man had a point. 

They rode in relative silence all the way up to the palace where Bucky was greeted at the gate. His dismounted when the others did, turning his horse over to the nearest guard as he was led inside. He felt his heart pounding as he was led into the throne room, his new friends wishing him luck as Bucky was led in. 

“Sire, Lord Veor has arrived,” the voice boomed. Bucky grinned when he saw Loki on the throne, seeing him sit-up and attempting to look regal. The trickster seemed relieved to see him, but also confused at the way Bucky was happy to see him. 

“Your Majesty, it’s a pleasure to finally meet in you in person. I have traveled afar to be here,” Bucky intoned with a deep bow like Loki had down him to do. Loki still looked confused and Bucky wondered if he’d messed up somehow. 

“I…am pleased to see you have arrive safely. Asgard thanks you as do I, for your service to the throne. I hope your stay here is a pleasant one,” Loki told him. Bucky bowed again, hoping he wasn’t overdoing it. 

“I thank you, Sire, for the chance to stay in this glorious city,” Bucky told him. The guard led him out and Bucky was greeted with cheers from Fandral and Volstagg. He told them he was tired and wished to return to his rooms and they reluctantly let him go.   
He was led to his rooms, different from the kind Loki had kept him in, and the door closed behind him. This room was much bigger, but also simpler in design compared to the one Loki had kept him in. Bucky walked around, stopping to admire the larger bed and brush his fingers over the cover. He went over a large chest and opened it up, seeing well-oiled weapons and leather. Apparently, he was a well-equipped young lord, letting the chest fall shut as he entered another room.   
This had to be the bathroom, judging by the large tub in the middle. Bucky studied it in surprise, going back into his bedroom and going over to what he assumed was the closet. When he opened it up he found an entirely new room, his clothing and armor arranged on racks around the area. Apparently, he also had different outfits and shoulder guards for every occasion. Bucky stopped to study a silver embossed one, running his fingers over the intricate design when he heard someone clear their throat behind him. He spun, grinning when he saw Loki with his arms crossed leaning against the doorway. 

“Loki!” Bucky said happily. Even though he had liked the time he spent away from the trickster, he still enjoyed seeing his friend again. Loki only huffed, not showing his pleasure at seeing the mortal beam at him as he came over. Throwing an arm around Loki’s shoulders and pulling him into a hug the trickster couldn’t bring himself to pull away from.   
“Barnes, I see you’ve arrived safely in Asgard. And you made some new friends during your brief travels,” Loki said. Bucky ignored the complaints, squeezing his friend again as he pulled back to study him.   
“What? We met on the road by accident, it wasn’t like I’d planned on meeting them. They’re nice people, you’d like them,” Bucky said as he went back to undoing the complicated shoulder guard and buckles. When he turned back around Loki was still standing there, glaring at the mortal as if he’d insulted him. 

“What?”  
“I don’t want you speaking with them.”

“Why? They haven’t done anything wrong,” Bucky huffed. Annoyed Loki wanted to keep him away from people he enjoyed spending time with, never mind if they were Asgardians or not. Loki frowned at Bucky’s denial, but the mortal had turned back around to deal with getting the rest of his clothes off. 

“I do not have good standing with them. And they are Thor’s friends, if they get to close to you they will find out you are more mortal! So, avoid being in their presence if you can help it!” Loki snapped. He grabbed Bucky’s arm and spun him around so he and the mortal were seeing eye to eye now. Bucky frowned at his friend’s reaction, opening his mouth to speak again only to be cut off when the other shook home. 

“Do you not trust my judgement, Barnes?” Loki hissed at him. Bucky frowned, shaking Loki’s grip off as he struggled to unclip his cape again. Loki took pity on him and made a motion for the mortal to turn around, undoing the cape himself. 

“Not always, I don’t know why it bothers you if I meet some new people. Who cares if they’re your brother’s friends or not? No offense, Lokes, but I can’t just talk to you all day every day.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re an intense guy and sometimes I like just sitting down and shooting the shit about the weather or, hell, what temperature the water is. Doesn’t mean I still don’t like you,” Bucky said as he turned around. Snatching the cape from Loki’s hands as he frowned at his friend, the king glaring at him pointedly. 

“I need time to make my own friends, Loki. I won’t tell them who I am or anything, but you need to give me a bit of freedom, too. I’m not made of glass, you don’t have to keep me on a plush pillow on a pedestal all the time,” Bucky chided him. 

Loki only pressed his lips together, glaring at the mortal before he just made a small sound like a curse. Bucky threw the cape over Loki’s head, tackling him with a hug when the trickster started to scoff. Loki ripped the cape off, but he couldn’t deny he liked the human being so close to him. He hugged him back, but was still angry with him for his forwardness with the others. 

“Make your friends than and weave your lies, Barnes, but befriend others. There are thousands of people in Asgard, why must it be those four you spend your time with?” Loki asked him. Taking a different tact as he grabbed Bucky underneath the chin and forced his head up. Gazing down at him quietly to get his point across before he released him. 

“…. fine, I’ll try to find others,” Bucky told him. Even though he had no intent on following through Loki’s orders. He wondered if the trickster knew that too, pursing his lips as he gazed at his mortal a moment longer before shrugging his shoulder. 

“See that you do, Barnes.”


End file.
